Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Lamp Post]

*understands*

*offers tea*

[Doomy]

I'm writing this now, because everyone is in the other room.

I joked about my mom taking me to church, because it's something she's never had us do before and I'll be damned if I start believing in God now.

I realized after she did that she's preparing me, spiritually, for if or when she dies. I'm now terrified that she knows something that I don't.

Before she told me about the diagnosis, she tried to teach me to take care of myself.

I'm fifteen, and being faced with the very real possibility that my mother won't make it five more years. If there is a God- I can't deal with this. I'm not okay.

[Lamp Post]

I thought you were older.

*gives tea*

Good luck, I hope everything turns out well.

[Doomy]

You did? :)

*Accepts tea*

I have no fucking idea what to do right now. I'm terrified to ask, I just can't stand the thought that I'd be lied to.

[Lamp Post]

I guessed 17-ish.

Perhaps you haven't been? Or perhaps she doesn't even have all the information, yet?

[Megan (Fishy)]

Oh Doomy.... *hugs*

I'm sorry. Good luck, and I hope everything gets better for you. We're here if you need us.

[Omega]

That sucks. Especially at your age. I don't know how I'd cope if I lost my mum. So all I can say is that I hope you're gonna be okay. Maybe not now, but that sometime, you will.

And you know all of us will be here, if you need it.

[Doomy]

Thanks :) .

The worst part right now, I think, is not knowing. I can't tell if she's telling me she's okay, because I haven't heard her say a word about being fine. Not one fucking word. And again, thanks everyone. I just need a little bit of vent time because I just can't dump this all on my friends here, they're wonderful, but...

[Omega]

Maybe you need to have an honest talk. Your mom's probably trying to protect you. But not knowing's worse, in a way. Because you think the worst.

The best thing about anonymity is that you can say whatever you like, with little in the way of RL consequence. If you need to vent, DOIT!

[Doomy]

XD

I luffle all my besties dearly, even if I don't always agree with their attitudes towards how to treat people, but I feel like I've given them enough shit and if I speak to freely, they'll always use it against me.

[Omega]

True.

But then, who do you talk to? If you don't talk, you explode. And that's messy.

[Doomy]

That could be bad.