Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Lamp Post]

>.> Oh, go away. XD

[Xuut]

I've been lying to everyone I known for years.

And to them it might not be a big deal but to me it really matters a lot. And you guys matter a lot to me. So I'm tired of telling you guys the same things I've been told to tell my friends/classmates IRL. And this might not seem really big to you guys, but to me it is. Because I've said so many times, "I don't like liars, and I don't like lying. I don't lie."

But I swear, this is the only thing.

I've never met one of my cousins. I've only ever met one aunt. The ones I've been talking about, are actually my half-siblings, and my half-moms. I haven't even met all of my siblings before. And I haven't even met all of my half-mothers before.

As of right now there's, this lady from Hong Kong whom I'll probably never meet and her two kids who I don't know, (one boy and one girl), my half-mother Jenny, my mom, Sherona, and my other half mom Grace.

CHILDREN LIST:
Unknown Lady:
One boy,one girl, currently residing in HK. Never met before. Both are around 30.

Jen:
Wilson: He's 20, lives where I am with his mom and sister.
Jessica: She's 11.

My mom, S:
Leslie: 17.
Claudia: 16.
Me: Self-explanatory. And as of the moment, a horrid liar. x.x I hate lying.
Cloe: 11...
Michelle: 7.

Grace:
Winston: Uh... like 7 ish.
Victoria: Uh like 6.
Austin: 5.

Note: I've never met the two from the unknown lady or Winston and Victoria.

So yeah. I just thought I should clarify. Because I don't like lying and I feel horrid lying to you guys. Even if it's something as small as this.

Also:

I'm moving. Again.

I'm just... so sick and tired of moving. It's every five years. Not even this time, it's four. And that's the worst. For the first time I've made real best friends. And I'm going to loose them. Or at least loose who they are. It's hard to keep friendships through the internet.

Every time I start to make plans for the future. This time I thought we'd actually stay here. I thought that maybe for once, it'd be a little different. I was really stupid. I'm just tired of imaging all these really great things with people and then learning they're never going to happen. I'm tired of loosing friends, forgetting places, and having to change bedrooms.

For the first time I was really, really, happy with where we were. Sure it was the shitty ghetto neighborhood. And the shitty ghetto school. But I was happy. v.v

I don't know if I'm mad, or pissed off or what to be pissed off at. Or even if I'm sad. I'm just really disappointed I won't be graduating with them. I won't be going to J.L, and I won't be yelling at my friends to pay attention in class. I was so excited to do that.

The worse thing is, I don't even know if I can tell them I'm moving.

[o0_flying high_0o]

*hugs*

It's fine, hon. It sounds.... awfully complicated, and well, especially if you're used to not being able to tell people, well, you're not obliged to tell us anything of that sort. Though, I have to say, I'm not terribly surprised by it.

*hugshugshugs* Already? I thought you'd really only /just/ moved actually, I thought it was much less that four years.... , and would have another year or so at least. You might be able to keep your friends though, love. I mean, previously when you moved you probably didn't use the internet to communicate with RL friends. It'll be easier to continue it, and you can still talk to the poor girl who screws up her sleep patterns with you at 4 or 5 am in the morning... I mean, we make it work, somehow.

But, yeah, I can see how that'd be less than fun. v.v *hugs again*

Why wouldn't you be able to tell them you're moving?

[Doomy]

Half-mothers? Or your dad's other... whoever they are?

[Xuut]

@Doomy: They're my dad's whoever others. Only related to me through the off spring.

@Emily:

x.x I'm not. The first thing I was told when I moved to Hali, was to tell people that Jessica and Wilson were my cousin. I just... Really hate lying. Especially to people who put a lot of trust in me. It makes me feel awful.

I changed houses. To the one across the street. This is a major move. Like I won't even be in the same province. v.v Maybe. I know that a lot of the ones who I talked to in person more than online aren't going to be friends with me for much longer. I might keep maybe three or four. It's just... I'm so tired of moving. And when I hear about people who've been friends since grade two or three it just makes me wish I didn't move. I've never been in the same place more than five years, sometimes less.

I'll PM you why. -Can't explain here-

[o0_flying high_0o]

So normally you wouldn't tell people their your cousins...? I can't imagine you could usually tell people they're your half siblings...

*nods* *hugs* Well, at least this'll be the last move. In three years you'll be off to College and able to keep these friends through HS, and maybe make plans to go with them to College too...

Okay, love.

[Secret Confessor]

I cut myself today. It felt wonderful. If my friends in RL found this out, they wouldn't be friends with me anymore. It would scare them and I don't want to see that look on their faces. I won't tell anybody in RL. This will be my dirty little secret.

I wish I wasn't such a coward because I would tell you guys who I am. But I don't want you guys to think differently of me. You guys are the only friends I have. You're the only friends that I'm willing to tell my secrets to. I can't lose you guys.

[RantingSidekick]

The only way we'd think of you is with concern. And love.

*hugs* I'm sure your RL friends would be more willing to handle it than you think.

We'll always be here, to listen and to love you.
*another hug*

[Lamp Post]

^This. Exactly.

Feel free to IM, PM, email me, etc, too.

We love you. We wouldn't want to lose you, either.

[Hannah]

Feel free to PM me anytime. Really. I won't judge you.

Just... Consider the risks. Consider what you're really doing to yourself. It's not a one-time thing, and it's hard to stop. Please.

[Xuut]

I'm the same.

I don't want to tell my IRL friends because I'm scared I'll loose them or they'll judge me.

But here, we're the type of people who won't judge. We'll just try to help. Or at the very least listen to your problems.

[Contradiction]

You mean the same about your second sentence, not the cutting, right? o.o