Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Secret Confessor]

I feel like my life is so screwed up.
I'm mean to my RL friends sometimes. I tease them, in a sort of playful way. I get angry really easily and can be abusive sometimes. I'm trying to cover up how weak I really am.
I'm quiet in class and I'm always really self conscious about what people think about me. I even act the same way on here. I read and re-read posts before I actually post them. I'm afraid you'll all hate me. I don't want people to hate me or say mean things about me behind my back, but I know people in RL do.
I feel like I'm going to get replaced by someone exactly like me but prettier in my group of friends, and I hate her with a passion. Everyone else likes her. I feel like I'm getting blotted out so I shove myself into conversations, and tease her constantly.
I feel like a bad person. I feel like should be nicer, but I can't make myself be any nicer. I feel like I annoy everyone. I feel like this is too long of a confession.

[Megan (Fishy)]

It's not too long of a confession.

I can't say anything productive about you being afraid of people hating you or being annoying, except.... "me too." So much. I'm completely terrified that at any moment you could all leave me, and I love you too much for that to happen. But you don't need to worry about that. I love everyone I know here, and don't find anyone annoying, so no matter who you are, we love you.

As for being mean: While that might not be the best approach, instead of blaming yourself, take a look at the situation. If your friends are treating you badly, it might be warranted. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone's a bitch in high school (or middle school, or college).

[Lamp Post]

Mate, these are things I've been contemplating all week.
Seriously I had to make sure I didn't post this.

Listen to Megan.

I understand what you're going through and am going through near the same thing myself, and can only say that it should get better. Try not to worry so much.

I know how terribly hard all of that is to go through, sadly I can only relate to you what you already must know, and can only wish you the best of luck.

*offers tea*

We're here if you ever need anything.

[Fate]

*smiles* Seeing how supportive everyone is of practically everything posted in this thread is amazing. This is why I love you all so much. You guys are just awesome.

[Megan (Fishy)]

*agrees* It's so awesome, how everyone can support each other through all this, and we all share personal experiences and advice and..... it's just nice. This is what all friends should be like.

[Fate]

Yes. Unfortunately, it's incredibly rare to find friends like this. Or at least at my school. When Megan's (not you) brother died, Elisa told her to suck it up and get over it. *was appalled*

This is what makes you guys super awesome. *loves*

[Megan (Fishy)]

It is in my school too. When I complained about my mom, back when I had to live with her, and I'd occasionally complain about Dee too, my friend Olivia told me that I "just have a problem with female authority figures." Wtf.

[Fate]

Yeah. So I don't really complain about my life to her. Or anyone. Kalene was actually the only one who notice something was wrong. I wish I'd have saved the PM she asked me about it in. It was quite funny.

Something like, "So tell me sexy... is something wrong? And don't lie to me because I can read your MIND. Well, not really..." And there was more, but I don't remember it all. I did tell her what was/is still wrong though.

[Megan (Fishy)]

XD Kalene seems awesome, from what I've heard.

[Fate]

She is pretty awesome. Amazingly she isn't my best friend though. It's pretty close... I don't actually ever talk about my best friend. Heh. Strange.
Well, Kalene is my person, and Destiny is my best friend.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Ahh. Yeah... I don't know that I have a best friend. Olivia is my best friend and worst enemy. Colby and I are pretty tight, but it's awkward because he keeps telling Kayla how much he's still "in love" with me. And Kayla is awesome. All my other friends go to other schools, and I never get to see them, and it's really sad.

[Fate]

In mergin RL and online friends it goes something like:
Destiny/ Kalene
Nathan/ Fishy/ Lamp
Jess
Kayte/ Py/ Flying/ Ranting
Megan
Everyone else online
everyone I like else IRL
People I hate
Elisa.