Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Contradiction]

I would post a "haters gonna hate" .gif, but I'll refrain.

Okay. I probably don't dislike you, but feel free to feel however towards me.

[Secret Confessor]

My first secret confession here, sometimes I think about deserving to get beat up for how I am, and I wonder why I think that way because I love who I am.

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

Not so secret. I feel like puking. I can't be sick I need to do my essay and buy wood glue this weekend.

[RantingSidekick]

*gives soup*
I hopes you feel better, doll.

[Secret Confessor]

I don't have the energy or the passion to do anything.
I want to talk to somebody about this but then again, I don't. What do I do? Do I sit here and get stuck crying my eyes out all by myself or should I talk to somebody while crying my eyes out?

Please. I just want somebody to notice. I want somebody to notice why I'm not talking.

[RantingSidekick]

Don't wait for someone to notice. Don't let your well-being be dependent on an outsider's observation. Only you truly know the extent of what's wrong.
I'm sure there are other people with issues that you haven't noticed either, that they want to you notice.

If you really need it, get help. Talk to someone - it is infinitely better to be able to cry with someone than by yourself.

Good luck buttercup, you know we're all here for you. -hugs-

[nathan_p]

They notice -- they're just afraid to bring it up.

Talk to someone. I'll back you up... maybe not in person, but in spirit.

[Secret Confessor]

Same.
Only, rather than losing energy, I've just lost passion.
And emotion. Nothing makes me happy anymore and I think I'm starting to just. . . . I dunno. v.v

*offers tea*

I've been trying not to have people notice, and few see right through it, others are just used to it, and some buy it. Frankly, I'm not sure which I prefer more.

[Xuut]

I find that people are generally /awful/ at figuring out when you feel like crap. Well, okay, /I am/ especially when my closest friends aren't feeling good. I'm just bad at that sort of thing. And when you deny not feeling like crap, well I'm kind of not that brilliant with people, so I assume you are in fact not feeling like crap. Sometimes you need to be straight forward.

Bottling it in is just going to make you explode someday, usually on the worst day possible. Find someone you trust or someone you know who cares about you and talk to them. Even if it means crying your eyes out. Sometimes it make you feel better.

[Secret Confessor]

My secret…I can’t tell you my secret.

Why?

Because.

I can’t handle this.

This is just too much.

I…despise me. I hate me. I loathe me. I can put it in a thousand different languages and use a thousand different synonyms, but nothing can express my utter hatred for myself at this moment. I’m not nearly articulate enough to do so.

You would too, if you knew my secret. Knew what I was like.

It’s a recent development, and I hate myself because of it.

I’ve become exactly what I hate the most. The last thing I’d ever choose to be. Something I’d prefer death to.
I can handle all the rest of my flaws. I can handle the pathological lying. I can handle the schadenfreude, sadism, and masochism (Not in That Way, you perverted bastards.) I can handle the alienating my friends, and I can handle the all out assholeish (Sp?) personality.

But not this.

This is just too much.

Dear god, how did I become this?

[Hannah]

Okay, I need to make a goddamned decision here.

Pro-con lists have come out even, coins have landed on edge, and I'm now debating which I should be more comfortable entrusting my love life with; eenie meenie miney mo, or a good ol' fashioned die. Any opinions here? I'm partial to eenie meenie myself...

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit....

[Secret Confessor]

I need to date someone less attractive than me to feel secure in the relationship.