Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Spoof tastic!

Create your own spoof like things here.

This is mine (I created it to try and make Tash depressed so she could write more poems...I failed)

Film industries have decided making New Moon was hazardous for everyone's eyesight as Robert P was to ugly to be looked at by the human eye. It was also turning out to expensive as for every take they had to replace the camera lense because of Robert. And considering how bad an actor he is, this means there would be about 300,000 takes per scene. Because of this they handed the script over to Pixar animation so they can construct and animated short called:- Twilight; How not to talk to Edward.
This movie will be five minutes long and will feature charaters like Bolt and Nemo, who will address Eddy as "The Vampire who just couldn't vamp". As this is a true statement, Nemo and Bolt both live to tell the tale and Ed falls into a depression which he will never recover from.
Apart from Nemo and Bolt, there will be several new characters, such as Sam the Squirell, who will just generally piss everyone of by using lines such as: "Yo' mam was so ugly she looked like Rob P" or "This gayarse needs to lay of the makeup"
These charaters will be voiced by Miley "bitch" Cyrus and N-Dubz.
The general genre of this short will be horror but, as Disney just can't do that sort of thing, it'll look a lot like a set from Thomas the Tank Engine only there will be no railway tracks and a lot more flowers.
This short movie will be displayed before "ICE AGE 3- Daw of the Dinosaurs" on the DVD and also in cinemas.

This short is likely to receive bad reviews and Stephany Meyar (I can't spell her name) will receive billions of letters, all hate mail, from her "fans". Twenty thousand of these hate mails are expected to come from none other that Ellie Doughty.

(Ellie Doughty is a friend of Tash and myself. She is overly obsessed with Twilight and Edward C. Too obsessed.)

I felt like spoofing a book I actually enjoyed for a change- que the Artemis Fowl spoof!

And in today's news:

The boy who was petrified of lollypops. A young boy who prefers not to be named has confessed at having what is now been confirmed as sugarstickaphobia, or the fear of lollypops. No one knows exactally how this fear started but the boy claims it was only intencified by the fact that he is fridgid. Sick minded listeners will know exactally what he means by this. This boy also seems to have recuring nightmares about someone he refers to as "Polly Little". This girl is supposedly fictional, but from our studies we believe her to be real. "What he says in his sleep is just too vivid and descriptional to be false" says Doctor Po, the boy's old counsellor. Such things said in his sleep include-
"What the hell, did you just KISS me? I'm covered in blood for gods sake!" and "You hit me?"
These recurring nightmares are being linked to his sugarstickaphobia as he recalls her saying- "Now you be a good boy, and I might buy you a lollypop when I get back"

The Grinch stricks again. The burgalar known as the Grinch has finally come out of hiding after his last burglary and has started to rob people of their golden globe awards. Celebraties are taking extra precautions with their precious awards after the following statment was relised from the Grinch's final Oscar victim Maggie V. "He got past everything I threw at him, he even managed to set the dogs on their trainer! I have no idea how he did it but he is unlike any burgalar seen before.

This one is by Azz:

Just yesterday, Hatchette publishing company were sued for damages by a teenages cult going by the name of 'Nathans Army'.They claim that a book(published by Hatchette earlier in the year) is mentally damaging hundreds of 'innocent' children.
This book, The Final Warning, by James Patterson,although consisting of lots of poorly constructed characters, gaping plot holes and terible grammer somehow has manipulted the minds of thousands of children across the globe to beleive that it is, in the words of a reader, "The most brilliantly written book of all time".
But, the plot thickens.While these children remain firmly suckered to the book, this group, Nathans Army, are the only teens to have read, and survied with their minds.They claim that Hatchete is using some strange, outlandish form of brain control.
The law suit is still being argued out.There are many that beleive they are atention-seeking teenages.Many back them up, in their fight against Hatchette.

This one is by Steven of MX:

Harry Potter and the hissy fit- Should have been number 7, but JKR decided against it...>.>

Harry was lying on his bed gazing at the ceiling. As he lay he thought about how unfair his life was.

"MY LIFE IS UNFAIR!"

Shouted Harry. He then proceded to lie on the floor screaming and thumping the floor.

This powerful emotion sent visions to Voldermort ~~the-wimp-who-must-not-be-named or Voldy, as Petigrew calls him.~~ Voldermort instantly knew where to find Harry, and teleported to the other side of the room where Harry lay sobbing.

"You're dead now boy"

shrieked Voldy.

"GOSH DARN IT CAN'T YOU SEE I HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS, GO AWAY YOU NO-NOSED FREAK!"

shouted Harry in reply.

Voldy rubbed his nostrils, hurt by this comment.

"Well, sooorry! I could only afford Micheal Jackson's cosmetic surgeon, all the others cost over £2.50."

murmmered Voldy.

Harry snapped out of his nervous break down.

"I so sorry Voldy! What ever can I do to repay you?"

sobbed Harry.

Voldermort looked at the bed surgestively...

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