Maximum Ride Unofficial Community

Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Hello, everybody. My name is Dual, AKA Fake Fang, AKA Crowley, AKA Mr. Kay, AKA Dr. And such.

 

Literature: A beautiful art form, unlike any other. Usually, it expresses an authors brilliant, geeky nature.

 

But sometimes...it goes bad.

 

In the past few years, crappy literature has been on a rise. The classics are dead, instead replaced with things like Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter. While these books may be fun to read to some, to others they're insults to literature, insults to an art form. It's like a five year old getting payed millions for his fingerpaint art. It's like a child playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," on his/her piano getting sent to Carnegie Hall. It's what happens when crappy authors, through the use of Mary Sue's, purple prose, and appeal to idiot teenagers, outsell literary masters who manage to write brilliant, witty, genius books (Yes, I used three words meaning the same thing) despite having alzheimers. It's a disgrace.

 

 

And it's bound to have a negative effect on the human psyche.

 

For one month, I'm going to be testing those negative effects. For one month, I'm going to do something no nerd has done before, something no nerd dares to do.

 

I'm going to Super Squee Me.

 

For one month, in the summer, I'm going to read one poorly written, fanservice driven, miserable pile of purple prose and Mary Sue's a day. For one month, I'm going to subject my mind to the worst conditions possible, do something incredibly painful and self destructive.

 

But it's ok. If I can save one squees intelligence-just one squee-it will all have been worth it. Even if I risk my own.


Throughout the course of this month I'm going to talk constantly with my psychologist, who will advise me in my mental cruci-fiction and tell me to pull out when the damage is irreversible. Hopefully, after the dreadful experience I'll be back to normal.

 

If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)

 

I'll be posting a daily journal. With any luck, I'll still be coherent.

 

Part of me doesn't want to do this. Well, actually, all of me doesn't want to do this. But I must. I must teach the masses the harm done by bad literature. Or else a good person will get hurt. I can't let that happen.

 

So...let's super squee me.

 

Books I have listed so far (Additions are loved. My sister's as much of a nerd as I am, so I don't know any bad books):

 

1.    Twilight

 

2.    The Angel Experiment

 

3.    Harry Potter Book One

 

4.    The Hunger Games

 

5.    Eragon

 

6.     New Moon

 

7.    Schools out-Forever

 

8.    The Chamber of Secrets

 

9.    Catching Fire

 

10.  Eldest

 

11.  Eclipse

 

12.  Prizoner of Azkaban

 

13.  Saving the World and Other Extreme sports

 

14.  Mockingjay

 

15.   Brisingr

 

16.  Breaking Dawn

 

17.  Fourth Maximum Ride

 

18.   Goblet of Fire

 

19.  ?

 

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NO

THAT BOOK IS AWESOME

Strange, yes. Kind of un-memorable, yes.

But do I think it's an awesome historical novel? HELL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH

Ahem. It's not really the kind of crappy pulp we're subjecting the man to.

Also, I haven't read The Hunger Games either. It was dull enough I put it down after less than a page, ergo I will instead read, say, Peter Straub.
That's cause it's awful. One cannot be sane and find pleasure in reading that book.

Also, have you seen the movie? It's hilarious.
stfu it was awesome hand deformities are so kickass

I believe I have seen the movie, though. And yes, it is hilariously awful.
My brother hated it, and my godawful teacher whom I detested shoved the symbolism down our throats, so I may be a bit biased. But yeah. Didn't like it at all.
There was symbolism? :S I read it because it looked AWESOME when I was like eight. And reread it a few years ago, in which time it got awesomer because I understood more of it.

But a godawful teacher can ruin any book. Sorry :C
She put symbolism in the apple that what'sherface gave to Johnny, and the color of clothing he was wearing or something... it was unnecessary.

:\ She nearly ruined To Kill A Mockingbird, and has pretty much ruined any love I've ever had for writing poetry.
Yeah, what the fuck >:| All books, I firmly believe, are way more fun if you approach them not looking for anything in particular except a good time. Almost all books can give you that.

Yow. I didn't really know you could ruin that book...
Exactly. Which is pretty much why I detest annotating.

I haven't read it since, and the only thing I can remember is that Atticus was kick-ass. Like srsly, nothing else. I'm planning on reading it again...
Annotating on the first read-through is probably a cardinal sin. First bring nothing but your ability to read. Then you can go back and note out things like "so Charlie has five siblings" or "Thomas must be twenty-one". Inferences.

Deducing symbolism from nothing is also probably a cardinal sin >:|


Yeah, reread it. I liked it.
For American Lit, I'm reading that Doomsday Book you said was good. I'm supposed to be annotating that... >.<'
Just make your annotations "oh god what does THAT string of syllables translate to".

...that book was the most fun I ever had reading aloud to myself.
1. :D

2. D:

3. *haven't read it and is making unfair assumptions*

4. *nodnod*

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