Super Squee Me.

[Dual]

Hello, everybody. My name is Dual, AKA Fake Fang, AKA Crowley, AKA Mr. Kay, AKA Dr. And such.

 

Literature: A beautiful art form, unlike any other. Usually, it expresses an authors brilliant, geeky nature.

 

But sometimes...it goes bad.

 

In the past few years, crappy literature has been on a rise. The classics are dead, instead replaced with things like Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter. While these books may be fun to read to some, to others they're insults to literature, insults to an art form. It's like a five year old getting payed millions for his fingerpaint art. It's like a child playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," on his/her piano getting sent to Carnegie Hall. It's what happens when crappy authors, through the use of Mary Sue's, purple prose, and appeal to idiot teenagers, outsell literary masters who manage to write brilliant, witty, genius books (Yes, I used three words meaning the same thing) despite having alzheimers. It's a disgrace.

 

 

And it's bound to have a negative effect on the human psyche.

 

For one month, I'm going to be testing those negative effects. For one month, I'm going to do something no nerd has done before, something no nerd dares to do.

 

I'm going to Super Squee Me.

 

For one month, in the summer, I'm going to read one poorly written, fanservice driven, miserable pile of purple prose and Mary Sue's a day. For one month, I'm going to subject my mind to the worst conditions possible, do something incredibly painful and self destructive.

 

But it's ok. If I can save one squees intelligence-just one squee-it will all have been worth it. Even if I risk my own.

Throughout the course of this month I'm going to talk constantly with my psychologist, who will advise me in my mental cruci-fiction and tell me to pull out when the damage is irreversible. Hopefully, after the dreadful experience I'll be back to normal.

 

If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)

 

I'll be posting a daily journal. With any luck, I'll still be coherent.

 

Part of me doesn't want to do this. Well, actually, all of me doesn't want to do this. But I must. I must teach the masses the harm done by bad literature. Or else a good person will get hurt. I can't let that happen.

 

So...let's super squee me.

 

Books I have listed so far (Additions are loved. My sister's as much of a nerd as I am, so I don't know any bad books):

 

1.    Twilight

 

2.    The Angel Experiment

 

3.    Harry Potter Book One

 

4.    The Hunger Games

 

5.    Eragon

 

6.     New Moon

 

7.    Schools out-Forever

 

8.    The Chamber of Secrets

 

9.    Catching Fire

 

10.  Eldest

 

11.  Eclipse

 

12.  Prizoner of Azkaban

 

13.  Saving the World and Other Extreme sports

 

14.  Mockingjay

 

15.   Brisingr

 

16.  Breaking Dawn

 

17.  Fourth Maximum Ride

 

18.   Goblet of Fire

 

19.  ?

 

[Contradiction]

2. I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.

3. >.> *liked it*

[Dual]

2. D: Pleasepleasepleaseplease please don't tell the rents.

[Contradiction]

...I feel as though had I ever had contact with them, I'd be dead. I won't tell them. >.>

[Dual]

You're a life saver.

Literally.

[Dual]

Lulz, I remember this awful save the environment books I read recently. At the time I thought it was the greatest thing since unsliced bread, but in retrospect it was awful. The Caretaker Trilogy, I think.

Anyone read it?

[nathan_p]

"the Dark Army" ahahahah

[Dual]

It wasn't actually poorly written, just riddled with fanservice and jailbait, full of stupid aesops, and full of lameness.

Seriously...someone needs to read the evil overlord list, methinks. It should have been called the fashionably clad army.

[nathan_p]

"the army in stylish Hugo Boss uniforms".

The more bad fic and bad writing I read, the more determined I become to make my writing suck as little as possible. no fucking Sues, ever ever ever

[Dual]

I suppose.

*judgement of books is awful*

I kinda want to write a book with a Sue protagonist perfect at everything.

Then it turns out that it was because he was genetically and mentally prepared that way by the villain, and the villain has brainwashed him like in Bioshock (Lulspoiler) and makes him kill all his friends with his uber sue powers.

:D

[nathan_p]

That would be great :D (And the only thing he can't do is kill the villain. So he goes home and works at a gas station...)

._. I have a cast of mostly normal, boring, academic people in their thirties to late forties, plus one wacko and a little girl. And some dogs. And everyone is very straitlaced by modern standards.

Also, I already hate my main character, and the only one I love dies halfway through.

I kind of wrote no-Sues-ever into the plot.

[Dual]

Oh, no.

He's going to be the villain's slave, and destroy everyone and everything he cares about.

Then he'll be ordered to suicide.

Cue blackout.

[nathan_p]

That's even better :D