I know you can't forgive me easily for what I did. It was unfair and rude. But can I at least tell you why I did it?
Ever since that sleepover, you've been a jerk to me. I don't know if it started then, or I just became more sensitive to it, but you started talking down to me. Then you stopped communicating at all. If you did respond to me, it was to degrade me.
And you act like you're better than me, because you're older. That you are a better guitarist, because you've had yours longer. It made ME cry.
And then when you started that site, everybody loved you. It made me feel horrible, because I knew I was just as talented as you, and that I wanted it way more than you did, and yet YOU were the one with a slowly growing fan club.
That's when the little green monster came out. But I still wanted to do it anonymously, so you wouldn't be all that hurt that a stranger didn't like you. Honestly, I really thought you wouldn't take it to heart, just let it roll off your back. It felt good typing it, knowing that you might feel like I had for a minute, but once I hit send, my heart dropped. I wanted to delete it so badly, but I couldn't find a delete button. I began to panic.
It was below the belt, I realize now. I didn't think it would hurt you as badly as it did. And I'm sorry.
I wanted to do this publicly, so you would know that I truly regret my actions. What I said was untrue, and unfair. And I'm sorry. Really, truly sorry.
I don't expect you to forgive me, and I know a lot of you will think badly of me for a while.
I forgive you. It was true, yeah... I guess it just hurt mostly because of how much I respect you as a musician. I, err, feel like we've just had a cat fight in the middle of a highschool hallway about a guy we both like... So, uh, forget this ever happened?
You respect me? It didn't feel like it. I guess that played a big factor in it, too. We have two totally different playing styles; you're more of a freestyler, and I play by the books. But you made me feel like everything I did was wrong. That I was possessive because I protected my more valuable things, because my family can't always afford to replace them.
Yes. Forget it. Btw, did you get my text earlier with the Between the Lines recording? I'm so excited about it.