Gather 'round the fire

[EndOfTheEarth]

I figured that some of you would probably be on tonight to escape your families. Ah well, we're all practically family here. Figured this would make a great place to talk about the past year, life in general, what makes you happy this time of year, and so on.

*passes out hot cocoa*

[Xuut]

-Necro thread-

I missed it so I'm necrothreading, but dammit, it's like, happiness in a thread.

Oh dear god, 2010. How can you be so freaking awesome and amazing and super sucky all at once? It makes me want to cry.

The first months of the year were super epic (even if I spent it starving and watching Buffy. :D) I can't help but feel a little (okay very) nostalgic of that time. And it's like the entire world is agreeing with me because outside is only 0 C which means it's super warm just like last year. Of course, unlike last year I don't get to do daringly stupid things with my friends (lots of studying instead) but I like to think about in two years time I might be able to do that.

2010 brought on a hell of a lot of change. Both online and IRL. Online... wow. Just... it's odd to think about last year isn't it? It's so different... I think that joining MX is probably one of the weirdest and most wonderful decision of my life. I'm sure in ten years I won't remember the specifics, but I'll remember a lot of you guys even if we loose touch and hell, maybe I'll find myself an hour or two away.

IRL is just... I spent all my time hating one place and now I miss it so bad. I know in three years I'll feel like this again. I always do, silly me. I realize that I hate change more than anything in the world. And my entire time spent in my old city was wasted and filled with regrets. I regret not getting out more, not walking downtown late at night or having fun at the freezing beaches. I regret not visiting P.E.I and comparing the sunsets or going to Newfoundland because what was once a very real possibility in my life no longer exists. Until I'm on my own, I doubt I'll be visiting my dear Atlantic Canada.

High school. My. I'm like what? Four months in? I liked to picture myself in high school to be honest. When I was 10 it was with people from Regina. Last year my biggest fear was not being in a single class with any of my friends. Then welcome to grade ten where you know no one. I think I might have been very lonely if there was no internet to console me or my friends to talk to at night. I'm not very sociable, and a lot of the time I'm wondering why I bother to make friends if I'm going to leave them all in three years. Then I like to remind myself of all the regrets I had last year, and I don't want to make them again. Maybe that's why I joined all the things I'd never be able to do at my old school.

Of course I still miss the banter of my old friends. Yes. Some of our joke were awful but... Damn. I miss that. I miss being pushed down a hill in a shopping cart too. I miss being considered one of the smartest kids in the class (is it kind of arrogant that I feel that way? I'm so used to it and now I'm like, an idiot in contrast to some kids...) but I think I'm being far too eager to get out.

And it's just, I don't think I ever would have gotten through some of this stuff without thinking about some of you guys.

tl;dr: I like to over-dramatize my issues in life (they shouldn't be as big I let them sound sometimes), I hate change, 2010 is my favourite year for now ( 2011 is not nearly as awesome so far) and I think you're all epic. Thanks. :D

[EndOfTheEarth]

*bump*

[Fate]

This year has been crazy. It's been hectic and stressful and at times, hard to deal with. BUT I wouldn't change any of it. It helped me realize that, hell yeah, I want to work in the nonprofit area for the rest of my life. As much as I love community service and helping people, I know there's nothing else for me. Novel writing, for me anyways, is a spare time sort of thing. Something that I do for fun, not for any other reason. NaNo this year reminded me of that.

 

I've had time in a relationship and time to be single. This year, I finally admitted to myself that I'm bisexual. I'm okay with this. The friends I've thus far told are okay with this. Right now, that's good enough for me. I'll tell my family once I've stopped living here. It's just easier. My grandma and my sister will be fine with it. My aunt and uncle probably won't, which sucks, but such is life. I'll live. As for you guys, I figure it's about damn time that I told all of you. So this is me, telling you all.

 

My best friend has been off at college since August. I've learned that she's super clingy when we're not 15 minutes away from one another. We're both crazy, though, so it's fine. I miss her, but since I'll probably end up at the same college as her, I'm not too worried about the whole 'us drifting apart' issue.

 

I miss the old days here, too an extent. Perhaps not what was happening in all our lives; we'd all hit a rough patch, hadn't we? More along the lines of, I miss how close we used to be. I'm glad to be spending some time around here, even if it's minimal.

 

I made new friends, drifted from old. I met the most stressful and aggravating person that I'll probably ever know. At this point, he happens to be one of my closer friends, even if I spend the majority of my time angry at him. (The asshole moved four hours away without saying goodbye to anyone. WTH?)

I think I've made some life long friends in several people this year. Nick and Vince are like the brothers I neither had nor wanted, but I love them to death. GermanSam and I are probably going to be roommates in college. Hopefully we don't kill one another. Denise and I have had bonding experiences like no other. (She was the first person I came out to, only because the psychic skank guessed.) Lupita and her sister, forever nicknamed Danish, have also become quite close to me. (Carpooling turns out to be a good bonding method. Especially when you drive ten minutes out of your way for someone.)

 

College... the idea scares the hell out of me. I don't feel ready, but does anyone? I've been accepted into a few in-state ones, so I'm not worried. I got an 1890 on the SATs, 1300 without the writing. My ACT score was a 29. I did well. (Wish I would have tried to do better, but meh.) Arizona colleges have crap standards (they match our crap education), I don't know why I'm worried about college but I am. That worry is beginning to lessen though, as I figure everything out.

 

Graduation. Unlike my fellow seniors, I don't look forward to it. There's going to be a lot of people missing from it, like my parents. Can't I just be a freshman again? I ask myself that a lot. But then I think about how much I've changed over the years. I've learned a lot. Losing my parents was hard, but it made me who I am. While, sometimes I immensely hate myself, I'm relatively happy with who I am. I'm independent and I'm ready for graduation and everything beyond it, I just don't want to face it yet.

 

This post turned out a lot longer and a lot more rambly than I expected, but that's alright. *takes some of that hot cocoa* All in all, it's been a pretty good year. I look forward to what next year brings.

*takes her seat by the fire* You know, most AZ houses don't have fireplaces. No need...

[EndOfTheEarth]

*bump*