Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Lamp Post]

While you do have a bit of a point, seriously, just stop.

Nothing is going to come of these comments. You're, frankly, just being a prat.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Hey, EndOf. Do me a favor, mmk?

If you're going to be rude and unhelpful, just shut up.

Society generally dictates that being mean to depressed people is bad, y'know?

Kay, thanks.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Granted. I've just read a paper on the matter and revised my opinions accordingly. You should see a noteworthy change in the way I approach the topic hereafter.

A good friend of mine died last spring and a lot of my feelings on the matter were heavily influenced by the way I felt about that. In retrospect I should have done more research first.

[RantingSidekick]

DDD;
That's awful awful awful awful.

You are wonderful and funny and beautiful and I love you so so much and you should never ever leave.

And I miss you. Even though we talked like, yesterday. :C

[Secret Confessor]

I'm terrified that some day, one of you who's contemplating suicide is going to go through with it.
Even worse would be if we never knew what happened, and you just vanished.
Please, don't. v.v We love you, and would all miss you.

Sorry for sort of speaking for everybody.

[EndOfTheEarth]

*seconds this*

[Secret Confessor]

Long story short, I am 90% sure I have anxiety disorder and 99% sure I'm clinically depressed.

My father is anti-doctor bill, and I assume the idea of him paying for counseling is even less likely. If my knee problems that effect me being able to excersize and play volleyball (and possibly be thin enough for him) weren't enough for him to let me go to the doctor, there's no way my mental health will be of any concern. And don't say "there's no harm in asking" because there is. It would cause family drama, and I have enough of that already.

I'm scared for myself. I can't diet, because I tend toward eating disorders (well, I was only anorexic for a couple of days before I was like "fuck this, I'm hungry" late at night and then I figured if I was going to load up on calories anyways I might as well not make my parents suspicious. Oh, and being bullemic(sp?) only lasted a few days as well because I randomly lost my ability to make myself gag.) and I can't please my dad the way I am. And his comments only make my mom angrier at him and then me by extension because it's my fault they can't get a divorce.

And the only thing that kept me sane is slowly being ripped away from me because of my knee problems (wow, that sentence was so dramatic...) that I, of course, can't go to the doctor for. And my friends are turning into sluts and these stupid boys are liking me and then not liking me and then liking me again and then liking my best friend /again/ and now this simple little question about what I should do concerning my mental health turned into a big long rant about everything that is wrong in my life so I'm just going to shut up now...

[EndOfTheEarth]

See the school guidance counselor. It isn't the best option, but it's the only quick way to get counseling without going through your parents.

Alternately, you could ask your school nurse or gym teachers if they could give an opinion on your injury. They may not seem like it, but gym teachers actually have instruction in sports medicine, and would be able to tell you pretty quickly if it's something you should be getting professional treatment for.

[Secret Confessor]

Let's say, for some reason, I don't go to school.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Then your athletic coach. Ask him/her.

[o0_flying high_0o]

Also, organisation like beyondblue and Reach offer free counselling, I'm sure it won't be hard to find the American equivalents, and then it's just a matter of getting to their offices.... If that's an issue, I know there's always been phone counselling, and a move to include email, and IM based counselling. Not as good as face to face, but better than nothing.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Aww, honey.

I know you didn't ask for advice, but you're getting it anyway.

First, do you have medical insurance? If so, that'll cover basic treatment for the knee stuff.
Aaand, as for knee problems keeping out of of volleyball, I can relate. As everyone knows. I complain a lot. I can't help it, I miss volleyball. It sucks, I know. v.v

Don't be anorexic. Don't be bulimic. Why do you want to diet? Are you unhealthy?
If you're (actually, legitimately, not just by society's standards) obese, by all means, try to be healthier. But I get the feeling that you're not, at all. There's nothing wrong with eating healthy and exercising, but you don't need to diet. Just do what's good for you, and don't diet because somebody else wants you to. Do it for your health and nothing else.

What do you mean it's your fault they can't get a divorce? Nothing concerning your parents' marriage is ever your fault.

Girls do that in middle school and high school. Probably college, too. If you want to talk to them about their sluttiness, by all means, do so. Just be nonjudgmental about it, and make it about their emotional well-being and not about "I don't want to be seen being friends with sluts," because that's just never going to end well.

As for the boys, if they can't commit, they're not worth your time and they don't deserve you. Simple.

Aaand lastly, depression: You need to see a counselor or somebody who knows what they're doing. I get that. But if your parents won't fund it, I can't help you there. None of us are doctors, but you can always talk, you know. PM me, or anyone you feel comfortable with, anytime, love.

We love you. Good luck. Feel free to talk to us.