Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[MusicInTheWind]

Sure. Let me speak to them please. I think you're more wonderful.

[nathan_p]

I don't make a practice of giving up on people. I suck at being comforting -- my 'bedside manner' is pretty crappy in that way -- but I don't do the 'right then, you're on your own' bit.

[Secret Confessor]

Forgiveness is a gift that is really understated. You don't realize how much of an impact it has until you actually make a move to forgive. Now, forgiving and then forgetting are two different things. Forgiveness is simple while forgiving and then forgetting is a rather complex thing. No matter how hard you try to convince me, you have not forgotten what I did. Maybe it doesn't matter as much as I think it should/would but it's still there. Maybe you're one of those people that lets things go easily. But forgetting is hard for me because words of a way of completely engulfing me. I take things as they are said and in the tone it's given in. That's how I perceive things and unless it is proven otherwise, it's an honest thing. I'm not a liar. I'm blunt and I acknowledge this. Most of the time, I say things and wait for an explosion because honestly, I find that entertaining. I like watching people figure things out and come to their own conclusion. I find these thoughts rather insightful.

 

I'm not mean all the time though I've been told I am. But now I've come to the point where I have to decide whether my own sanity is worth risking. Although, I might have already lost it. I need to forgive myself but I will not forget what I've gone through. I've been taught a valuable life lesson but I need to move on. I'm not going to try to pick up the pieces anymore because they are reminders and they hold me back.

 

I'm leaving people behind but if you are no longer apart of my life, you were never meant to be anyway. But if someone does come back, then it was always meant to be.

 

So, I'm saying goodbye to the old me. But I'm still afraid and I have a lot to prove. This was a long journey and I'm bracing myself for another long ride.

[Secret Confessor]

I'm a horrible person.

I dig myself into holes I can't climb out of. I only fget deeper when I start blaming myself, so its just a constant cycle. I'll dig a hole, never find treasure, curse myself for being so utterly stupid, and very slowl crawl out. These things don't make me stronger; if anything, they're only killing me faster.

I constantly compare myself to others. I dnt think I'm good enough for anybody anymore. All I really want is somebody--namely, my best friend who I've got a crush the size of Russia on--to cuddle with. I want somebody to me mine. But everybody deserves better than me.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. Autocorrect is a bitch.

I'm an insomniatic atheist. I live in a very narrow-minded city. Nobody would ever want a girl like me--somebody who hates herself and degrades people in her head just to mak herself feel better. Nobody would ever want a cruel person like me who is always confused and worried about herself and somebody who practicall scoffs at charity.

Why would anybody want some closeted lesbian like me?

[Fate]

I fail at giving advice. And this rather seems more like a rant to me than a cry for help. But it's probably just my brain, because I generally don't know how/am incapable of asking for help.

 

I don't believe in soulmates except in very rare instances where I feel a couple was meant to be. I don't believe that there is only one person out there for everyone. I do believe everyone has someone though. Soulmate isn't the right word, but I haven't got a better one.

 

I'd bet you still live at home, based on your description of you city. When you go off to college, things will change. A new place, new people. A fresh start.

 

Bitter, cynical bitch that I am, I've found friends who love me. Who know exactly what kind of person I am and choose to love me regardless. If you look, you'll probably discover you have that too.

 

We live in a generation that is a lot more accepting than the previous ones. Fifty or so years ago, someone who brought up the idea of homosexuality would have been lynched. Now, there are still...ignorant...people who have a problem accepting the idea, but most people do.

 

Two of my friends are lesbian. One is an out of the closet gay guy. Another is an in the closet gay guy. And none of this matters to me. I love them all the same.

 

Believe it or not, someone loves you, at the very least as a friend. And someday someone will love you more than that. I can nearly guarantee someone here would be lost without you.

[RantingSidekick]

Okay guys.
GUIZE.

 

Teach me how to Valentine's Day?

[Fate]

I have no advice. I'd just like to say I need help too.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Well:

1) Are you in a relationship?

If yes: Get together with said person. Doesn't really matter what you do, but roses and candy are fun.

If no:

2) Are you interested in someone?

If yes: Get together with said person. Doesn't really matter what you do.

If no: Pick someone random who you'd be comfortable just talking with, nothing more, and talk to them.

If yes, but too shy: Guess what? Today's the day.Suck it up, Get together with said person. Doesn't really matter what you do.

[Secret Confessor]

I'm 16, and I still have nightmares.

Bad ones. As in, I wake up at least one time every night frozen in terror. I get freaked out when I'm home alone anymore because I remember them. I sleep with the door open and the light on. When I'm driving alone, I check the rear-view mirror obsessively to see if anyone's in the back seat. Forget horror movies, I can't even watch most of the TV shows I like anymore.

... This can't be normal.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Sure it can. My mother has a similar issue.

 

You have something on your mind though that's bothering you. What is it?

[Secret Confessor]

Nothing specific that I know of... It's been getting steadily worse for about four years though, so it's not really recent.

[Fate]

I didn't have nightmares. I had dreams. And when I woke up to discover it was only a dream, I wanted to cry. Because for most of last summer, every night I dreamed that my mom hadn't died. And then I woke up to find she was still gone.

 

Try not to focus on anything before going to bed. Hell, play PacMan or something. Do math problems. Count sheep if you must. Just try to avoid thinking about anything that scares you. Because not sleeping is, unfortunately, not an option.

 

And as for the fear of being home alone, I recommend getting a dog if you can. Even a little one. Maybe it's just me, but those fuzzy little things bring a sense of security.

 

...I check my rear-view mirror constantly to ensure I'm not being followed... *paranoid*