Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


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[Devil's Sunrise]

WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK

[Secret Confessor]

He called me a slut last night.

And...I wasn't upset. o.o

It doesn't matter whether he's being sweet or an ass, I...don't feel anything. Nothing.

I wish I did. It only reinforces his point. v.v

[Xuut]

Not so secret confession but I'm only telling people here because... Well I don't want to ruin my friends having fun. :\

I said that not going to the trip wasn't going to bother me and that it wasn't a big deal and everything. Plus since I was going to Toronto and stuff it was alright.

I lied.

I didn't really realize it until today when everyone was talking about it and then we watched a video in French about it and everything. I realized that I'm missing out on something again, that everyone is going to talk about and that everyone is going to have a lot of fun at. It sucks balls to be poor and it sucks even bigger balls that I have so many siblings which is partially the reason why I can't go.

Going to Toronto with my annoying family during the summer isn't a compensation. At all. Feels like a bloody piss off actually.

In three years I'm going to feel like this again. And it really sucks because I know for sure that I won't be able to go to that trip either. This all just sucks.

[Contradiction]

*hugs*

I realized that I'm missing out on something again, that everyone is going to talk about and that everyone is going to have a lot of fun at.

This is what happened with the DC trip. It isn't fun at all when your friends come back with new experiences and inside jokes and stories to tell. :\

They do get over it in about a week, though. My friends have only ever occasionally brought up the trip since the week after. They'll forget about it, and it'll lose its novelty quickly enough.

Just... have fun while you're home, and try to forget about it as quickly as your friends will. If you really would like to go on the trip the next time, you could always try saving up for it now.

[Xuut]

Thanks.

It happened in sixth grade when my parents told me I couldn't go to the camping trip that everyone went to.

I hope so... It's the most exciting thing this year and even the sixth grade trip that I didn't go to they still talk about occasionally.

At least one of my closest friends isn't go either. We can be bitter together... I don't know if I can. That one is even more expensive than this because it's out of the country and I want to save all the money I make these next couple years to help pay for University. But I can try I guess...

[EndOfTheEarth]

Find something to do. While my class was in Disney World for the week, I handed my English teacher what amount of my novel I had at the moment and asked him to edit it.

So yeah, write something. Paper, pencils, and computer access are usually pretty cheap, and you get out of them as much as you put into them.

[Xuut]

Alright.

Thanks. I'll try that.

[Devil's Sunrise]

Ouch. But I actually chose to not go on the trip in eighth grade (DC), because I don't like to sleep in foreign places. I've gone through hell, almost literally, on certain trips.

[EndOfTheEarth]

My only school-sponsored DC trip was supposed to be in fifth grade, but it was canceled when some schmucks flew some airplanes into some buildings earlier that school year.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Whoa, you were in fifth grade? I feel young....

[nathan_p]

I was in fourth grade at the time >.>

We had a school DC trip after sixth grade, my school. Not school-sponsored, though. Ronald Reagan died while we were there, so it did get a little exciting.

[Secret Confessor]

I feel like we're not as close anymore. When we talk there are huge awkward silences, from five minutes to... what was it this afternoon? Thirty, forty-five minutes?
I almost want to blame it on you meeting him, but even if that is the case, there's nothing I can do about it. And I like him too. I've been talking to him more, and he's really funny and sweet, and I can really see why you like him so much. And you like that I talk to him, too, because you know how... jealous, I suppose, of him getting your attention, in the past and you want us to all get along.
This never used to happen, though. And I don't even know if it's that we're growing apart, because during the times when we are talking it feels just as lovely and nice as ever. Maybe I'm just overreacting. But it still kills me.

... And so does the thought that you'd rather be with him than me. If you had the choice to meet one of us, you'd choose him. You may have that choice in a few years. And maybe that's what's really bothering me.

I still love you. That's never going to change, and I want you in my life forever. You're my best friend. Maybe I don't mean any less to you, but maybe you love him more.

I would really appreciate it if people commented on this. :/ I don't mean to sound whiney, but I really need reassurance or something right now.