Maximum Ride Unofficial Community

Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Hello, everybody. My name is Dual, AKA Fake Fang, AKA Crowley, AKA Mr. Kay, AKA Dr. And such.

 

Literature: A beautiful art form, unlike any other. Usually, it expresses an authors brilliant, geeky nature.

 

But sometimes...it goes bad.

 

In the past few years, crappy literature has been on a rise. The classics are dead, instead replaced with things like Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter. While these books may be fun to read to some, to others they're insults to literature, insults to an art form. It's like a five year old getting payed millions for his fingerpaint art. It's like a child playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," on his/her piano getting sent to Carnegie Hall. It's what happens when crappy authors, through the use of Mary Sue's, purple prose, and appeal to idiot teenagers, outsell literary masters who manage to write brilliant, witty, genius books (Yes, I used three words meaning the same thing) despite having alzheimers. It's a disgrace.

 

 

And it's bound to have a negative effect on the human psyche.

 

For one month, I'm going to be testing those negative effects. For one month, I'm going to do something no nerd has done before, something no nerd dares to do.

 

I'm going to Super Squee Me.

 

For one month, in the summer, I'm going to read one poorly written, fanservice driven, miserable pile of purple prose and Mary Sue's a day. For one month, I'm going to subject my mind to the worst conditions possible, do something incredibly painful and self destructive.

 

But it's ok. If I can save one squees intelligence-just one squee-it will all have been worth it. Even if I risk my own.


Throughout the course of this month I'm going to talk constantly with my psychologist, who will advise me in my mental cruci-fiction and tell me to pull out when the damage is irreversible. Hopefully, after the dreadful experience I'll be back to normal.

 

If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)

 

I'll be posting a daily journal. With any luck, I'll still be coherent.

 

Part of me doesn't want to do this. Well, actually, all of me doesn't want to do this. But I must. I must teach the masses the harm done by bad literature. Or else a good person will get hurt. I can't let that happen.

 

So...let's super squee me.

 

Books I have listed so far (Additions are loved. My sister's as much of a nerd as I am, so I don't know any bad books):

 

1.    Twilight

 

2.    The Angel Experiment

 

3.    Harry Potter Book One

 

4.    The Hunger Games

 

5.    Eragon

 

6.     New Moon

 

7.    Schools out-Forever

 

8.    The Chamber of Secrets

 

9.    Catching Fire

 

10.  Eldest

 

11.  Eclipse

 

12.  Prizoner of Azkaban

 

13.  Saving the World and Other Extreme sports

 

14.  Mockingjay

 

15.   Brisingr

 

16.  Breaking Dawn

 

17.  Fourth Maximum Ride

 

18.   Goblet of Fire

 

19.  ?

 

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Not really. :\ Kinda why I asked for ideas.

And while the HP series is fun...it's poor literature. Harry's Sue-per, Dumbledore's a fascist, and there's no explanation of or limitations to the magic they use.

Plus, Voldy is just too damn evil. I like to sympathize with villains. Rowling gives me no way to do so.

And HG is only on this list because it's popular.
I sympathized with Voldy...Maybe I'm alone in that...

VOLDY SYMPATHIZERS UNITE!

-stands alone, holding fist in the air-

Ok then....Well...More cookies for me! Mwahahahaha!!!

-Saint
I'm pretty sure Twifans would react just like this...

House of Night is pretty bad. There's the Cassandra Clare books too...
MAX and FANG. (Book four is The Final Warning, sweet lord. I wish I could unread it.)

Also... Harry Potter doesn't really fit in there with shit like Twilight and Brisingr. Eragon is a blatant Sue for a do-nothing homeschooler in the middle of Montana who's suddenly SPESHUL. Bella, well, we all know she's Stephykins minus a few years and pounds plus super hot sparkly dude.

Harry is a British teenager who doesn't exactly want to save the world. Also, yes, please shoot me: but fascism, like communism, is not strictly a Bad Idea. The execution, however, always is. That and darling, it's fantasy literature. Fantasy, unlike your hard science fiction, sees no need to explain itself.

tl;dr I am a whore.

Now if you really want to rot your brain... teen-targeted books from the 70s and 80s to early 90s. (Were they bad? They were bad.) Go to a cheap bookstore or library book sale and find some horrible-sounding science fiction.

As for by name, hmm. The Sword of Truth, full stop, everyone go home.

This was not a chicken.

THIS WAS EVIL MANIFEST.

Good luck, mate.
Yeah, all of Maximum Ride will go on here. I just wanted to savour the awful stuff for the end.

And I prefer modern literature due to it's influence on modern society, so IDK...

Wait.

Vampire Academy and the Circus of Freaks.

Are they bad? They seem popular...

Thanks. I'll definitely need it...
Cirque du Freak was entertaining, but bad.

If you haven't read the last three MR books, though, prepare for a treat. They are incredibly trashy.
I haven't read the latest one.

Addendum: Will add Cirque du Freaq to list. Thanks. How long are they?
It was like... like a decently bad 80s-ish science fiction book hit the car wreck of jailbait makeout sessions that the books have become lately. It is mostly crap. But there are a few glittery bits of mica.

And the audiobook is hilarious. The good doctor who is our latest antagonist is yet another vaguely-European dude with a doctorate in Something. And he experiments on himself.
FOR SCIENCE! *TRUMPETS*

Lulz. I'll save it for when I start.
XD That's for sure. I still have most of the "New" Tom Swift Jr. Series. Serial as heck, characters as flat as boards, and the science isn't science. Made for a fun 'dumb' read though when I was younger.
....How about Vampire Kisses? There are like six books in the series, little quick reads that rot your brain... x.x

To replace Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, both of which I love... >.>
Get your hands on Architects of Humanity.

It will inspire you.

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