Super Squee Me.

[Dual]

Hello, everybody. My name is Dual, AKA Fake Fang, AKA Crowley, AKA Mr. Kay, AKA Dr. And such.

 

Literature: A beautiful art form, unlike any other. Usually, it expresses an authors brilliant, geeky nature.

 

But sometimes...it goes bad.

 

In the past few years, crappy literature has been on a rise. The classics are dead, instead replaced with things like Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter. While these books may be fun to read to some, to others they're insults to literature, insults to an art form. It's like a five year old getting payed millions for his fingerpaint art. It's like a child playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," on his/her piano getting sent to Carnegie Hall. It's what happens when crappy authors, through the use of Mary Sue's, purple prose, and appeal to idiot teenagers, outsell literary masters who manage to write brilliant, witty, genius books (Yes, I used three words meaning the same thing) despite having alzheimers. It's a disgrace.

 

 

And it's bound to have a negative effect on the human psyche.

 

For one month, I'm going to be testing those negative effects. For one month, I'm going to do something no nerd has done before, something no nerd dares to do.

 

I'm going to Super Squee Me.

 

For one month, in the summer, I'm going to read one poorly written, fanservice driven, miserable pile of purple prose and Mary Sue's a day. For one month, I'm going to subject my mind to the worst conditions possible, do something incredibly painful and self destructive.

 

But it's ok. If I can save one squees intelligence-just one squee-it will all have been worth it. Even if I risk my own.

Throughout the course of this month I'm going to talk constantly with my psychologist, who will advise me in my mental cruci-fiction and tell me to pull out when the damage is irreversible. Hopefully, after the dreadful experience I'll be back to normal.

 

If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)

 

I'll be posting a daily journal. With any luck, I'll still be coherent.

 

Part of me doesn't want to do this. Well, actually, all of me doesn't want to do this. But I must. I must teach the masses the harm done by bad literature. Or else a good person will get hurt. I can't let that happen.

 

So...let's super squee me.

 

Books I have listed so far (Additions are loved. My sister's as much of a nerd as I am, so I don't know any bad books):

 

1.    Twilight

 

2.    The Angel Experiment

 

3.    Harry Potter Book One

 

4.    The Hunger Games

 

5.    Eragon

 

6.     New Moon

 

7.    Schools out-Forever

 

8.    The Chamber of Secrets

 

9.    Catching Fire

 

10.  Eldest

 

11.  Eclipse

 

12.  Prizoner of Azkaban

 

13.  Saving the World and Other Extreme sports

 

14.  Mockingjay

 

15.   Brisingr

 

16.  Breaking Dawn

 

17.  Fourth Maximum Ride

 

18.   Goblet of Fire

 

19.  ?

 

[nathan_p]

D:

"Next step in the evolution of the human race" is never, ever, ever a good sign.

[EndOfTheEarth]

You have no idea...

[Dual]

...?

Will do.

Is it a bad book, or a book on bad books?

Fiction?

[EndOfTheEarth]

It's fiction, and easily the worst book in the entire universe. The plot fails, the grammar fails, even the spelling fails in places. And yes, somehow it got published; that's what's so inspiring about it. If I had it with me, I'd scan a page or two to give you the idea.

http://www.amazon.com/Architects-Humanity-Karen-Holmes/dp/1424163153

It isn't popular fiction, but it's worth your time in the same way that taking a vaccination or getting a colonoscopy is worth your time.

[Dual]

Hmm.

Thanks. I /might/ read it. I'd prefer to stick to the popular stuff, but it seems awful enough to qualify regardless.

[Dual]

Guys, I'm not saying I didn't like Harry Potter. I loved it. To an extent.

It just has bad writing, that's all.

...Should I switch it solely to vampire fiction?

[nathan_p]

No, because Dracula, The Historian, and I Am Legend (and maybe The Passage) are all credits to that genre. But yes, it is a good place to start.

Seriously, raid the Young Adult section at your local library. Full of crap. R.L. Stein and Christopher Pike are highly reliable for this (plus, they wrote short easy books that are no longer popular, so you may be able to pick up several for a song... and polish them off in about an hour).

[Dual]

I don't mean the good vampire fiction. It's just that modern vampire fiction blows. *dodges pun with ninja skills*

R.L. Stein's books are too short to leave any permanent trauma. What's been written by Pike?

Oh, and Amulet of Samarkhand. Bad?

[nathan_p]

The Historian, The Passage, and my other favorite, Thirsty, (which isn't really a Vampire Book so much as a Teen Angst book) were all written in the past ten to... twenty or fifteen years.

Other than that, though, yep, it's a field of suck.

R.L. Stein wrote some longer stuff, like... the something on Fear Street. Pike just wrote... horror for teens?

Have not read it. Sounds not too bad.

[Doomy]

I absolutely hated "The Historian".

Well, actually, I couldn't make it that many pages without wanting to tear my eyes out.

[Omega]

I prefer the alternate version of Harry Potter for reading fanfiction. You know, the one where Dumbles is a manipulative douchebag. Because, the evidence.


The books aren't that well written, but they're something brilliant.

[Contradiction]

First of all - title=win.

Second - If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)
:DDDDD

Third - *le gasp*

You don't like the Hunger Games?

And fourth - Johnny Tremain begs to be added to your list.