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Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Hello, everybody. My name is Dual, AKA Fake Fang, AKA Crowley, AKA Mr. Kay, AKA Dr. And such.


Literature: A beautiful art form, unlike any other. Usually, it expresses an authors brilliant, geeky nature.


But goes bad.


In the past few years, crappy literature has been on a rise. The classics are dead, instead replaced with things like Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter. While these books may be fun to read to some, to others they're insults to literature, insults to an art form. It's like a five year old getting payed millions for his fingerpaint art. It's like a child playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," on his/her piano getting sent to Carnegie Hall. It's what happens when crappy authors, through the use of Mary Sue's, purple prose, and appeal to idiot teenagers, outsell literary masters who manage to write brilliant, witty, genius books (Yes, I used three words meaning the same thing) despite having alzheimers. It's a disgrace.



And it's bound to have a negative effect on the human psyche.


For one month, I'm going to be testing those negative effects. For one month, I'm going to do something no nerd has done before, something no nerd dares to do.


I'm going to Super Squee Me.


For one month, in the summer, I'm going to read one poorly written, fanservice driven, miserable pile of purple prose and Mary Sue's a day. For one month, I'm going to subject my mind to the worst conditions possible, do something incredibly painful and self destructive.


But it's ok. If I can save one squees intelligence-just one squee-it will all have been worth it. Even if I risk my own.

Throughout the course of this month I'm going to talk constantly with my psychologist, who will advise me in my mental cruci-fiction and tell me to pull out when the damage is irreversible. Hopefully, after the dreadful experience I'll be back to normal.


If I never return to the way I am right now, at this moment, well...I love you all. I just want you to know that. You've been great to me, and led me to accept my inert goodness. (I've recently joined the Good/Evil Alliance to help me deal with being good, and talked with my psychologist quite a bit. The 'rents don't know and, with any luck, never will.)


I'll be posting a daily journal. With any luck, I'll still be coherent.


Part of me doesn't want to do this. Well, actually, all of me doesn't want to do this. But I must. I must teach the masses the harm done by bad literature. Or else a good person will get hurt. I can't let that happen.


So...let's super squee me.


Books I have listed so far (Additions are loved. My sister's as much of a nerd as I am, so I don't know any bad books):


1.    Twilight


2.    The Angel Experiment


3.    Harry Potter Book One


4.    The Hunger Games


5.    Eragon


6.     New Moon


7.    Schools out-Forever


8.    The Chamber of Secrets


9.    Catching Fire


10.  Eldest


11.  Eclipse


12.  Prizoner of Azkaban


13.  Saving the World and Other Extreme sports


14.  Mockingjay


15.   Brisingr


16.  Breaking Dawn


17.  Fourth Maximum Ride


18.   Goblet of Fire


19.  ?


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They make me want to cry. The mary-sues...

Those books were a complete waste of time.

I know. They're... words can't even begin to describe how bad they are. Each and every one recycles the same plotline. The girls are whiny. The boys are broody. They don't know one another- even a little bit- but they're soulmates, dammit!
Besides Hunger Games (Which I'm actually working on reading now. Yep.) I've read everything here, plus some other things that were mentioned in the comments. And I love this stuff. Call me patheticles. But, I know I'm not alone...The only thing I'm alone in is sympathizing with Voldy.... :(

Of course, I've balanced out my reading of the....Lower end of the literature scale, at least in my opinion. See, I'll just read whatever I can get my hands on, good, bad, or otherwise. Lord of the Rings still trumps all other series I have ever read and is the only series I will ever be a complete and total Squee Fan for. LOTR ruled my life. Sometimes, it still does. LOTR is my second religion.

Ok, I'm going to stop before I start speaking Elvish.

I read the Iliad. For fun.

Things Fall Apart. Read it for English class. Still looking for own copy.

I could go on and on about all the books I've read, but I have to work in less than an hour, so I'll shut up because I doubt you care anyway.

Basically, as I think you said above, I don't think it's bad to read these books. They're fun to read. And I'm annoyed when people say things like, "You shouldn't read that. It's not good enough quality." So what? I read for fun. Bite me. You just need to make sure that your reading of the lower end is balanced out with reading from the higher end...Oh, and whatever the heck made it to the middle.

Actually, I think some of these are middle books, but maybe that's just a matter of opinion.

Anyway, I like you experiment idea. :D -salutes- I wish you the best of luck and, if you need any help, I happen to be the owner of a Therapy Center for Fanfiction Cliche-Effected Characters that may be able to assist. :P

Oh, and I see someone already suggested the Night World books. Entertaining trash. You should add them. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.


P.S. Had to add this rant.

Dear Christopher Paolini,

I did love Eragon. I really did. But please, just admit you're blatantly copying Tolkien's elves before I have Legolas stab you in the eye with a knife or something. Poser.

Then again, Tolkien was copying the elves from English and German mythology.
*Sigh* Do you ever stop winning?
But...He's Tolkien! So he gets away with it. :D (Kidding...Kinda...I'm such a LOTR-Squee...)

I guess, if you want to get technical, no matter what you write, you're probably copying someone, whether you base your works off another's intentionally or not. Eragon's elves always seemed kind of like a rip-off of Tolkien's to me...

I could probably get into a long discussion over this but I doubt I need to sound any more like a LOTR-Squee, so I'll shut up while I'm ahead... :D
Though Tolkien's elves are actually likable, when I was reading the Inheritance Cycle I kept wanting that female elf Eragon gots it for to die, I can't be arsed to look up her name.
I know the one ._. Arya? Ayla? Some fuckin' thing.
I ended up googling it, damn slow server speeds leaves me with nothing better to do.
You were right with one.
*LOTR squee*
Legolas <3
Harry Potter and The Hunger Games were awesome... D: The Hunger Games series is like the new controlled substance in our school. Everyone's exchanging and borrowing from whoever they can find who has them, and I've never seen so many kids actually reading books in my school... It's kinda scary. And they weren't as cliche as I thought they'd be.

Um, House of Night. I see somebody already mentioned it, but I feel it's worth bringing it back up. I read the first, what, four or five books in the series? Then I pretty much forced myself to stop, which is nearly impossible to do. That's how much I hated them. >.> Really. I will never pick one of those up again. *shudder*


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