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Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

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What about the fact that everyone else seems to have figured it out? Is that just an illusion?

Thanks for the response, though. I really appreciate it.

IT IS SUCH AN ILLUSION. Ahem... But seriously though. I've only made one friend. It took me a year to do even that.

Making friends in college is way harder than they tell you it will be. *sigh*

Yes, it's an illusion. I didn't find a sizeable group of people to spend time with until almost the very end of my third year. Anyone else who tries to make you think otherwise is lying or part of a fraternity or sorority. 

And there are the party people; those folks who go to hundreds of parties to give themselves the illusion of friends when it neither gives them any, keeps them safe, nor helps their academics. I went to one party, and I'm still talking to my college friends, still physically intact, and graduated towards the top of my class.

Okay. Thanks, guys.

Maybe it's because my roommate has a boyfriend and knows a ton of people and because half of my floor seems to be best friends with each other, but I always just feel so left out. But then I also feel like I'm leaving myself out, and I should stop doing that.

Also I'm seriously considering rushing in the spring, because my girlfriend and two of my best friends from camp are both in sororities and it sounds like a lot of fun. But we'll see.

Thanks again for the reassurance. I really needed it.

Contra's post inspired me to actually post something on here for once, instead of checking in once a month or so...

Started my sophomore year at Exeter. Academically, it's getting harder to remember what I'm working towards and why I'm doing this. Everybody says that after Exeter, the first two years at an Ivy are easy, and any other college is a joke, and while I'm sure that's not entirely true, it's something to look forward to. My time management skills are great, and I have some amazing friends. I love (most of) my classes, I got a 100 on my last chem lab...but everything comes in cycles, and my best friend in the world started cutting herself and she's been sleeping in my room every night and it's triggering my eating stuff a bit (I've lost three pounds in the last few days. It's not even on purpose, really. I just get to the end of the day and realize that I've had a bagel and maybe a bag of popcorn.) I'm scared that I'm going to end up how I was last winter, eating <600 calories a day and hating everything about myself.

I think I can keep that from happening, though, and I'm so much happier here than I could ever be anywhere else. I still have three years here, but it doesn't feel like enough. I love the teachers, and I love the students, and the teaching method, and my dorm room (which is adorable. I have a picture of every country in the world hung up around a poster that says 'wanderlust' and then the wall above my bed has over a hundred pictures of me and all my friends), and wow I just love Exeter. And I love my dorm! Last year I had a lost of resentment towards it. Technically it's the most strict dorm on campus, because they abide by the bedtime rules and stuff, which I ignored repeatedly fall term last year. But really, it's fostered amazing time management and I get eight hours of sleep every night and I love all of the people in my dorm. I'm really going to miss one of the seniors who's graduating this year. She's going amazing, amazing places. She has a 10.6 GPA (like a...3.8? in normal schools, I think), which is practically unheard of, she's fluent in Latin, Greek, and Classical Latin (I think that's what it's called), she's read pretty much every classic writing piece ever created, and she's so smart and funny and amazing and she and her girlfriend are super cute and ugh.

I love dorm life and I'm really happy that it'll extend to college but I'm afraid that it just won't measure up. This is without a doubt the defining period of my life. I've changed so much and I'm so much better for it. The best part is that I don't think I've lost "myself" at all, even through everything. I've seen Silver every summer for the past three years. We went down to Yale together just a month ago and I met one of her roommates and we went thrift shopping in New York. It's so weird to think that I met her - all of you, but especially her, because we see each other so often IRL - on here. Keira's coming to visit in two weeks, because she only lives two hours away from my school. Seeing her is great too; we're so comfortable with each other, and she and Hanan (my best friend) are friends now, too. She's actually coming to visit more for Hanan than me, because Keira's been through what she's going through now. I'm just kind of taking life in stride, I guess. I have 4-5 hours of nonstop work every day, without any breaks of distractions, but I also have so many friends and so much going for me and a fish named Hillary Clinton and I'm in feminist club and Model UN and democratic club and active minds (we do campus-wide projects to reduce stigma around mental illnesses) and just, wow! I'm so happy!

There was no coherent thought to this, but there you go.

This is without a doubt the defining period of my life.

Nah, not really. Any high school, even an 'Ivy' level is a stepping stone to the next thing. Two current friends of mine went to highly privatized high schools and graduated with high GPAs. Both cracked in the first month of college. One is now a poet, and the other's a breakdancer. Goes to show that the same determination needs to carry over to college, and that the high school stuff doesn't apply much once you've graduated. Same goes for colleges, even Ivys. I graduated from Temple, and a colleague of mine graduated from Harvard. We have the same job. Work hard, but don't feel as if one slip up now and again is the end of the universe, or that the people you know now is all you'll ever have. Simply remind yourself to give your best effort, keep your social development skills up to date, and treat rough moments as education experiences.

Still, it's nice to hear that you're enjoying Exeter! And don't forget to eat! Send yourself a cellphone reminder or something.

Also, it's weird to think that my younger sister is now the age that I first met you on MDW. Thanks for remembering us all this time!

Well, I don't mean work/future wise, more person-wise. Like, this is the place and these are the people that will make me who I am, or...will be, I guess? And that's what all the alums I've talked to have said. It's just kind of how most people seem to feel that they found themselves in college, but a few years earlier. I'll have more defining moments but I think that the overarching scheme of my life will be pre, during, and post Exeter, which isn't a bad thing at all. Things are hard sometimes but yeah, I'll be better for it. 

Yeah, it's really weird. And I'm the same age now that most of you guys (though admittedly with the exception of you) were around when I met you.

God, I feel old.

I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Definitely don't forget to eat- I do too sometimes and it's really not good for you. (My roommate was gone last weekend and she left me a note so I wouldn't forget.)

And I 'found myself' my junior year of high school. I made new friends that year- most of whom I still talk to. I became a little more outgoing and just sort of accepted who I was and I was a lot happier. So I definitely think you can find yourself before college.

It's really great that you get to see Silver so much and Keira, too.

And time management skills are one of the most important things you will ever learn.

So yeah. Good to see you're alive and well. Sorry if this is sporadic and/or confusing. I'm exhausted.

Daylight Savings Sucks.

Hi everybody!

So as far as my life is concerned, this week is either my last week of chemo for the month or my last week ever, but doctors are literally the WORST at communicating so I probably won't know until either next Friday or the Friday after that.

I recently made an appointment with my adviser. I'm now officially minoring in Nonprofit Administration, so whoo! I'm already an English (Creative Writing) major, if you've forgotten/didn't know.
The reason I went to see my adviser though was to talk about Study Abroad, because it's definitely something I've wanted to do for a while and I think I really... need to get away for a bit. The deadline for the Spring semester has passed, but I could still go over summer or in the Fall, which I'd really like. My desired destination is the U.K. especially since there are some bomb English programs there. Summer would be more convenient because next year I'm living off campus and it'd be easier if I could have a place the whole year, but summer isn't funded by my financial aid so I'd have to hope for some scholarships or something.

My little sister is in the city play (literally didn't know we had one before she was in it) and I might actually get to go home to see her in it so that's nice. She's actually not so little anymore... 17, now, which might be the same age of at least one of you.

I'm living on campus with another friend of mine and it's working out pretty nicely.

I've joined a club- WORD, the creative writing club on campus. It's fun.

I've made a friend that I didn't go to high school with which is a spectacular accomplishment for me.

I'm being more social which is getting increasingly difficult, so I'm proud that I'm trying anyways. I'd rather just sit in silence and read a book, but I'm making an effort to talk to other people in my classes.

I still plan to attempt NaNo this year. I'll be fine if I don't have anymore chemo, but if I do, it will be during November and this might be the first year since I've started participating that I won't finish. But honestly, I'm drowning under my homework now. I'm exhausted all the time. I don't have the energy to do anything I can get away with skipping. I barely have the energy to do the absolute necessities. So NaNo is out if I have chemo and that kind of breaks my heart because NaNo. I mean, despite how much I bitch about it, it's one of my favorite things ever and it's just such an essential part of my year and I owe it to an old friend of mine to do it and to succeed and I don't think I'll be able to.

I have no personal life, but that's fine. It's kind of nice to not be tied to anyone. College contains lots of attractive people and I can look and no one will judge me.

I've been submitting a lot of work into literary magazines and such, though no luck yet. Still, I'm trying to get my work out there because why not? I've got a shit ton of it just lying around. Might as well try to make something of it.

Oh. I've also been cooking dinner a lot and neither my roommate or I have burned the apartment down, so that's good.

Yeah, I think that's everything... If not I can post again later. So there's the current going-ons of Fate's life!

It's great to hear you sounding so well.

Let us know if you get anything published.  I want it signed, you know the drill. XD

Apparently I never mentioned this here, so OK, here goes. 

I've been dealing with health issues this entire semester, and had to drop classes / limit my schedule appropriately. Since I'm still bouncing around between doctors, I can't say exactly what is wrong with me, but here is what my experience is:

My left leg is extremely painful on a day-to-day basis. Some of this may be being caused by bursitis near the greater trochanter, and I had a cortisone shot today in my left hip to confirm that / relieve pain. So far I've had an MRI, X-rays, and a bone scan done to look around, and in the near future I'll be going in for an MRI of my back (the other was of my leg) to see if anything is wrong there. The guy I saw today thinks I may also have some underlying neurological issues, and wants me to see a neurologist at some point about that.

Anyway, I'm OK, though the pain has worsened since I first noticed it. My parents have been very supportive, which is a huge help, but I spend a lot of time asleep, which is part of the reason I never popped in here to talk about this before now.


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