In Philly, we have this lovely thing we do with most of your a-consinants where it goes from "Ah" to sort of like "ey-yuh" so it sounds closser to "eyuss" I suppose.
Goals:
1. Less red. (check)
2. More brown. (check)
3. No awkward splotches missed. (check)
4. Matching eyebrows. (Fuck Vaseline. Yeah, guys, I didn't get any on the skin around my eyebrows, but I didn't get any on my fucking eyebrows either.)