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Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

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My honors American Lit class fails at constructing theses. For example (copy/paste from class blog):

In the Crucible, detail in Arthur Miller's writing reveals the effect of id on anyone's mind. This effect id has on people is represented through Abigail because their is prominence of id in her actions.

In The Catcher and the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, Holden Caulfield experiences many things through a series of days, and each of them are carefully illustrated by his knowing of right and wrong, and what ultimatly takes over.

In The Crucible, the effects of the red scare and trials can be seen through Millers writing of the choas of the trials.


And we've gone over what goes into a thesis. Over and over and over.
Most of these just aren't phrased correctly, but can almost be used as a thesis.

For example.

In The Crucible, Arthur Miller uses the actions of the character Abigail to illustrate the effects of the Id on the human mind.

In The Catcher and the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Holden Caufield is led to think _______ based on the events of his night in the city [your classmate missed the novel's time stamp].

The chaos of the witch trials in The Crucible strongly paralells the effects of the Red Scare in its ___________

So all the people could have phrased it better, but person 1, when edited, sounds like a proper thesis. Person 2 however is holding out on what Holden is thinking, and Person 3 hasn't brought in a specific piece of evidence to support the point.
Oh, I forgot to mention that these are supposed to be arguing a literary criticism theory, and for this assignment specifically, either psychoanalytic (Freudian or otherwise) or Marxist.
I need to write.

But I don't get to write anything fun for NaNoWriMo, no, I have to write about how Jesus is Teh Awesomez and anyone who disagrees with his view of government (AKA Socrates, the intellectual bomb of ancient Greece) needs to go to hell. Effffffthiiiiiiiiisalllllllllllll.
Because my conservative Christian mother thinks I need to be doing conservative Christian schoolwork (which also happens to be the most reputable curriculum for homeschoolers to put on their high school transcript but still) which assigns me bullshit essays to do occasionally.

If my mother ever found out that I'm closer to a satanist than a Christian these days, I would be tossed out on the street...
DDDDDD: You need to come live with me.
I do. *plops suitcase down on sofa* So where do I sleep, roomy?
:D There's a fold-out couch downstairs, but it's kinda covered in school supplies... >.>

Seriously, my mom is epic. She takes me to metal and punk concerts and introduces me to mosh pits and hardcore music. She wishes she could adopt like half of my friends and her students at school. Especially my one friend whose mom is super Christian and won't let her do anything... I actually think your situation may be worse though, which is really saying something... >.>
If it clears anything up, I've been informed that if i don't get a perfect score on my SAT in my sophomore year, I'm going to get a "beat down". Needless to say I'm staying at a friend's house the weekend I get my scores.

You have one family friend whose kid got a perfect score YEARS AGO and now there's more unreachable standards.
Yeek! D:
I'll be fine though. My father always threatens like crazy when he's drunk, but he never does anything about it.
Wow. You seriously sound like my best friend IRL but worse. D: This is getting a little scary.

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