What are you doing right now?

[EndOfTheEarth]

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

[Megan (Fishy)]

(You can never know for sure. XD)

[o0_flying high_0o]

(XD True, although confusing emotions sound very like something that would bother a person. Then again, you'd probably know that if you were pretending)

[Megan (Fishy)]

(XD I don't like confusing emotions. Actually, I dislike emotions - except happiness - in general. And I especially don't like admitting having emotions, because it makes me seem like a silly and pathetic teenage girl. [not that I'm not one, but I try to draw attention away from that])

[o0_flying high_0o]

(It's a shame really, there are all these emotions ((happiness, anger, sadness, confusion, loneliness)) and there's really only one good one. I agree though, they tend to be annoying, and irrational [*laughs* I'm sure no one noticed])

[Megan (Fishy)]

(*nods* People will argue that there are just as many pleasant emotions, but - happiness, joy, pleasure, contentedness - they're really all the same, whereas sadness and anger and loneliness are all different. [I always feel very stupid and immature when admitting to emotions. >.>])

[o0_flying high_0o]

(Exactly. I suppose someone could argue that love is an emotion, and different to happiness, but even that's just that one particular person is now able to make you happy. [There's no reason to feel stupid... not that I can really talk])

[Megan (Fishy)]

(Love isn't really an emotion, and it isn't always happy - Sometimes, yeah, but it not only gives the person the ability to make you happy, but it also entrusts them with all your other emotions, meaning they could completely break you at any time - which is why love is so freaking terrifying, imo.)

[o0_flying high_0o]

(I like the idea, in theory, of having someone you can trust so absolutely with all your thoughts and emotions, but in reality I'm terribly, terribly bad at sharing that sort of stuff and letting people in because giving someone that sort of control, even on a much smaller level, is terrifying.)

[Megan (Fishy)]

(*nods* I.... I don't even know. I can't say that I trust people easily, or that I don't trust anyone. It's a nice idea, but.... I think it's horrible. It scares me.)

[o0_flying high_0o]

(I don't think it's even about a conscience decision about whether or not they're trustworthy. Like, I have friends who I would trust with my life, but I just couldn't give them that sort of influence/access(?). Because they're /my/ thought and feelings, and even if you're the best person, with the best of intentions, you could so easily rip them to shreds... *is just a bit paranoid when it comes to this*)

[Megan (Fishy)]

(*understands* Honestly, as crazy and backwards as it sounds, I trust a lot of you guys with my emotions, more than most RL friends. Like, to the point where, should one of you (well, certain people, anyway) want to completely ruin me.... it wouldn't be that hard. And that scares me a little. Everyone says that falling in love, if that even happens, is even worse, which is why I'm so damn terrified of it.)

[o0_flying high_0o]

(idk. I'm probably more honest about how I'm feeling here, where as irl I have a tendency to push everything aside. Not that I don't do that here, but to a somewhat lesser extent. Should someone want to ruin me online... I'm not sure. There's probably enough if someone bothered to look through it. Though the the fact that one of you would want to ruin me would be pretty damaging in itself.)