Just finished a oneshot of what would have happened if Fang had experienced some of the usual symptoms of being under cardiac arrest for more than four minutes. How do you take a bunch of squees and make them cry even harder? Probably like this.
I read it. Thanks a ton, and yeah, my younger brother often picks up on my horrendous comma usage, so the fact that you saw an issue along those lines is no surprise, and a helpful hint that it's time to pull out Elements of Style again.