Max- Ride Continuation... Right After the flock is back together (This is on my MX profile)

[Mia Love <3]

PROLOGUE

 

The flock has just gotten back together, and Max and Fang are walking along a beach in southern North Carolina. All of a sudden, they find Lissa, the Red-Headed Wonder at a shop. She shrieks and runs over to them. Max and Fang are both wondering why she isn't in Virginia, but they really don't care. This is from Max's point of view.

 

Chapter 1

 

Lissa looked at me in amazement as I put my arm around Fang defensively.

 

"C'mon, Nick. Let's go."

 

"What is wrong with you, Max? What did she do to you?"

 

I suddenly tensed and shrunk back, surprised by his sudden outburst. I hated Lissa, and just wanted to wring her little neck and watch as the color slowly drained from her face. Squeezing the life out of her. Just what would make Fang totally think I was great.

 

"Nothing, I guess," I mumbled, afraid to say anything else. Lately, I had always been worried about what Fang would think of 'this' or 'that'. I suddenly felt so self-conscious. What was wrong with me? I'm not girly, I'm a kick-butt street fighter!

 

Max, I know this is hard, but you've got to realize. You and Fang have feelings for each other. You can't deny it. Part of being in love is having heartbreaks.

 

Oh, hey Voice. Great time to talk to me. You've been reading more Hallmark cards, I see?

 

Max, concentrate. There will be time for romance after you save the world.

 

Voice, stay out of my business. I don't need you right now.

 

Fine, just remember your mission, Max. The world needs you.

 

 "Max? Max? Are you okay?"

 

It was Fang. The Red-Headed Wonder stood behind him, fluffing her hair.

 

 "Yeah, I'm fine," I said. Just peachy, if she would fall down a ditch, I thought.

 

"Okay. Lissa, I'm sorry, but I think we should go," he said.

 

"Oh, Nick, do you have to?"

 

"Yeah. I'm sorry. See ya around." He turned around, and I caught a slight look of disappointment in his eyes, though he didn't show it in his facial expression.

 

"Yeah, bye," sighed Lissa.

 

Chapter 2

 

'Max, what was wrong with you when you were near Lissa?"

 

If only he knew.

 

"I guess I haven't really recovered from when you two made out in Virginia."

 

Why did I have to say that? He wasn't supposed to know that!

 

"Um, Max? I hate to break it to you, but I really don't like Lissa. She kind of forced me into it."

"Oh, really," I asked, confused. "She did?"

"Yeah," he said, tracing a line in the dirt with his shoe.

"Should we get back to the flock? I mean, we left them with a blind guy in charge..."

"Um, yeah. Let's go."

We both spread out our wings, just flapping them ever so slightly to stretch them for a minute before taking off. I looked at his. They were so beatiful, majestic almost. Black. Fang... I need to get back to the flock. Save thinking about Fang for later, ha-ha.

 

Chapter 3

We got back to the flock, who were playing around on the beach.

"Hey, Iggy. What's up?" I asked.

"Um, Gazzy and I are making a bomb,"

Obviously, I thought.

"Angel and Nudge are just talking about girly stuff, that's about it, I guess."

"Eew," said Gazzy.

Just then I noticed something in the sky quickly advancing towards us.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. This is just what I need.

"Okay guys, let's get moving. There's a plane over there, and it's probably Erasers. Iggy? Gazzy? Your bomb ready?"

"Well, if we set it to detonate, it might not hit the plane, but..........."

"But what, Iggy?"

"Well, I can set the timer, and someone can fly up and attach it to one of the wings, then fly like mad to safety, unless they want to get exploded."

"Yeah, great plan. So, who's gonna fly it up there? And we've kinda gotta hurry, considering it's coming towards us pretty fast."

"I will," said Fang, stepping forward.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yup. After all, what's the worst that could happen. Getting blown up? No big deal. Iggy, set the timer. I'm going up."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, Fang?" I said, as a last-minute thought.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful. Okay?"

"Yeah. I know, Max. I will."

"Thanks, Fang. Do you know where we're going to meet up after?"

"Um, what about that clearing in the woods about 3 miles east of here? You guys saw it, right?"

"Well, I didn't," said Iggy.

How I love Iggy. Not. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, we'll meet you there. Nudge, Iggy, take Gazzy and Angel up and start heading over there. I'll meet you in a minute."

They rose and flew off. I hoped the plane hadn't caught sight of them.

Fang opened up his wings and flew through the trees towards the plane. I left, following the flock.

[EndOfTheEarth]

I'm going to assume Canon Plot has been thrown out the window. I'll comment on that if you ask, but if not, then I'll be keeping my thoughts to myself.

 

1) I'm sure you've hear that teachers hate "said." Readers do too. See end of chapter 2.

2) "Stats" typically refers to "statistics." Did you perhaps mean "Status"? "Sit. Rep." also would work there.

3) How would Nudge know there are Erasers on the plane, or that Max even noticed a plane, or that it's a plane that Max noticed?

4) Unless it's an open-cockpit bi-plane, Fang wouldn't get shot...if it's a fighter jet, then the flock would be running, as they did in book 2.

5) The thing about planes, as explained in book 7, is that they produce a wake of turbulent air behind them. Max couldn't fly up behind close enough to attach the explosive.

 

Side note, these are sections, not chapters. In longer novels, a section is signified by a double-space or string of three asterisks (only when it occurs at the bottom or top of a page).

 

While the rest of the flock is in character, I'm not sure that Fang is. Can't put my finger on why though.

 

It's a fair piece, but it doesn't have anything particularly grabbing yet. Keep working on it.