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Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!

Thirty things I love doing that will get me lynched one day:

1. Going to the bookstore and switching the, “Signed by the author,” stickers from the correct books to the Bible.

2. Then autograph them all with, “Allah.”

3. Putting sex toys in the Toy department at Walmart.

4. Putting dog costumes up at a place that sells sex toys.

5. Going to protests with blank signs.

6. Going to protests with the, “For Sale,” signs people put up at their house.

7. Go to protests with signs that say, “You know, things are pretty Ok,” And, “I love you all.”

8. Going to the abortion clinic, standing on the roof, and performing a life concert while

screaming protestors are outside. Act like they’re cheering for you. For better results, claim that

your band name is something fairly commonly chanted (Abortionists are murderers, Etc.)

9. Produce Ring videos. End them with a Rick Roll. Or, better yet, give them to your friend, and, when he watches the tape, call him and play it into the phone.

10. Rick Roll the entire world...somehow.

11. Hack into a Mod/Admins account. Change the front page of a site to read, “You Just Lost the Game.”

12. You just lost the game, by the way.

13. ...Bitch.

14. Speak in iambic pentameter for a day.

15. Connect two chat machines together. See what odd, odd conversation they come up with.

16. Make a chat machine based on GLaDOS.

17. Glue money to the sidewalk.

18. Post a link to 4chan on TTS. Claim it’s a Twilight Appreciation Site.

19. Make a huge ass website with every letter combination possibly, from one letter words to ten.

20. Spam websites with the chemical name for Titin. Multiple times.

21. Pretending that a Jewish wedding has just occurred every time somebody breaks a glass.

22. When the Mormons come to my door, telling them that the Jehovah’s witnesses just left. What will happen, you ask? Well...put it this way. You know what happens when two different tribes of ants come in contact with one another? Well, this is worse.

23. Bring popcorn and soda to watch said massacre mature debate.

24. Go to the Mormon and Jehovah’s Witness doors. Try to convert them to C’thulhuism.

25. Get a bunch of friends. Speak sign for an entire day with them. Cuss people out.

26. Going to the book store and burning the abridged copy of Good Omens. Damn that book to hell, it had me thinking that Gaiman and Pratchett sucked at writing conclusions for two friggin years.

27. Naming my kid after a random series of letters, symbols, and numbers. For example... “This is hw92ijf02jd02-Alpha Omicron 29485q18ei93fh2w.”

28. Telling the airport security staff that there are Arab turorists.

29. Go an entire day speaking in first person…plural. (Our name is Crowley, and we’re totally stoked to win this Oscar, dude.)

30. Pretending that EVERYTHING in a modern art musuem is art-including the other patrons. Trying to buy them.

Views: 2

Comment by Nighthawk on May 26, 2010 at 7:27am
XDDD

I actually know somebody who works at a flea market who glued a quarter to the floor in front of his stand, just to see how many people would try to pick it up.

I like the idea of hacking into a mod/admin's account and swapping the names. :D

You should add: Talk to myself out loud about people (unkindly) who are standing nearby.
Comment by Contradiction on May 26, 2010 at 7:39am
@26: XDD

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