Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[pollyo]

Doomy, I'm stealing your Secret Confessor thread idea and taking it to the Spot. Hope you don't mind =]

[Doomy]

Nope, not at all! I didn't post it on the spot specifically because it was bigger though :-/ . Or are you subtracting the secret account?

[Secret Confessor]

Alright, guys...I'm in a bit of a jam.

I've been talking to a guy over the internet for quite a while now. I video chat with him often, so I know that he is, in fact, the age he claims to be. We've both gotten quite attached to each other, and we are extremely compatible with one another. However, I had lied about my age and name in the beginning, which inadvertently was revealed today when I replied to his email from the wrong account on my phone (he looked up my username on Google and found one of my Ning profiles stating my age and real name...>.<), and I....erm, well, I made him cry because he was so disappointed and upset that the vision he had for meeting me had crumbled to the ground (we're both like that).

You may be wondering why he was so upset. Well, here's the kicker.

He's 28. I'm 16. He thought I was 18.

So tell me - what should I do? I mean, I talked it over with him, and he's going to mull over it for a few days. He was planning on flying out to where I live to meet me at some future date. This may still happen depending on what we decide. Regardless, he's going to be 29/30 when I turn 18, and we've discussed the fact that he wants to have kids when he's 30-35. I told him I'd be willing to have kids at 23-24 as a compromise. There's a lot of things like that which need to be resolved...

The age difference is bad, but I really, really like this guy. He is extremely intelligent, not to mention handsome. His problem is that he's a bit reclusive (works from his apartment) and that he's a bit of a geek (in a good way, anyways).

So should we give meeting a try when I turn 18 since we're pretty sure that we'll be perfect for each other? Or should we hang it up and go our separate ways?

[RantingSidekick]

As a personal opinion, I don't consider age a barrier in relationships.

I'm really happy that you found someone you care about, and I...think you should wait.
But two years is a long time, and I'd hate to see you miss out on anything in your last years of high school, because you're waiting for him.

Honestly, if you think your relationship can last two years, I'd say do it.

I hope you can figure this out. *hugs*
*really wants to know who you are, but that's okay*

[Doomy]

As a personal opinion, I do think that age is an issue when it comes to relationships, but there's always the exception.

I agree with Ranting on most points, however, I really do believe that (speaking as a 15-year-old) young people (almost everyone on this site) don't really know just what we want out of life (I'm using a general collective "we"). We're just trying to figure ourselves out, and that could be really hard when there's someone somewhere else just waiting for you to become a specific person. For him, two years really isn't all that much. But in teen-years, two is a long time to grow. Even if it seems wonderful and beautiful now, it could be really hard later on. And, as bad as this sounds, this isn't about him. He'll get over it- he's a big boy, You really need to think of yourself on this one. To keep this relationship would get you "stuck" (I think) at this time in your life. You need to have time and space to mature into the adult that you want to be, and a person out there who wants you to fit into a specific place in his life would just hold you back.

(Because I think that this analogy is just too awesome to pass up, I'll use it).

Have you heard of "square watermelons"? They're grown in boxes, made into a shape that they're not naturally supposed to be in. You're still growing, and having something like that holding you back and keeping you from becoming "you".

No matter what you decide though, everyone on here is here if you need to talk, and we all support you as a friend. :)

[Megan (Fishy)]

*comes in where I don't belong*

Curiosity, since you said that you need your time and space to mature, are you against long-term MS/HS relationships between people of the same age too? *curious*

Square Watermelons! XDDDD

[Doomy]

Yup. I purposely stayed away from dating in middle school for that reason, because I knew that I'd just end up feeling stupid for playing house. And right now, I'm in the "boys are interesting" thing simply for the experience.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule. My parents knew eachother all through high school. In fact, they went to Jr. Homecoming together. But they never dated (my mom dated my dad's best friend in college though). I firmly believe that if they had, it wouldn't have worked out and I wouldn't exist.

Square watermelons are the SHIT.

[Megan (Fishy)]

I had a boyfriend in middle school, and through part of the summer between middle school and high school. It didn't work out, but I can't say I regret anything. *shrugs*

My parents dated all through high school. They got married, and my brother and I exist, but it didn't work out. To put it very lightly.

[Doomy]

Well, it's good that you exist at least, right? :D

[Megan (Fishy)]

XD Yeah, I'd say that's a good thing, personally.

[Doomy]

*Laughs* though maybe it's a little bit too positive.

Square watermelons remain to be the shit though.

Oh! This thread was re-posted by Dani on the Spot. Woo-hoo!

[Avenged]

Aaaaaaand now you do. Merry January.