Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).
This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".
If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).
Before MX, I didn't have a huge problem with TFW. Then when I read MAX, I hated it, but actually I didn't mind TFW too much, just didn't think it as good as the others.
Before MX, Twilight was one of my favorite book series.
Now I know better, can better recognize terrible writing, etc.... but I think I've turned into someone who isn't really me.
And... I'm scared. There, I said it. Maybe I'm just being irrational, but...
Also, I should say that there's only two people I truly care about here. I... I love you guys, really, I do, but... I feel out of touch.
Last night...
She said I was probably her closest friend.
I assumed she meant online, but then thinking about it later...
She wouldn't have said probably. She's already told me that I'm her best online friend, many times.
Did she... mean overall?
... Because I... kind of the same.
I hate him.
I mean, he's nice, and friendly, and hasn't done anything at all to me.
But every fucking time I even think about him, I want to cry, and scream, and... I hate him. No matter how much I try to be happy, it doesn't work. I feel like everything's ruined.
I wish they had never met. And it's because of me that they did, or at least I'm blaming myself for it, because- ... Yeah.
Nothing's changed. Nothing's wrong. Everything is perfectly fine. I don't know why I let myself get carried away with the idea that it was going to change, either for better or for worse. And I don't know why this momentary pause, in a not-unpleasant stage, hurts so fucking much.
*is not asking for advice/ hugs/ tea/ anything* *simply wished to air a thought using some anonymity*
I'm lonely. But I feel attention-whore-y for saying it here.
So I'm available and was all excited for this week because I could hang out with friends and do stuff and play stuff and have fun.
But I have no friends to hang out with, no stuff to do, and nothing fun to play.