Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[Megan (Fishy)]

Oh, you know everyone loves you. You won't lose them/us. You won't.

[Xuut]

Because this is very obviously going to be me....

There is no fucking way I can possibly please my parents. Ever.

It doesn't matter if I do my chores without complaint. My sweeping isn't good enough, my vacuuming isn't good enough, the way I mop the fucking floor isn't good enough. Apparently I'm doing it with my eyes closed and somehow when listening to music it affects my performance doing so. When I make one slightly rude remark they spazz out and rant for another ten minutes on how much work they do/did as a kid. Then they'll tell me to move out if I'm not happy with the current arrangements. If I compare myself to one of my friends then I'm told to go move in with them because if I'm such a god send there then clearly they'll want me.

If I snap and start to get annoyed and bitch. Then for some reason I'm ALWAYS like that, even though most of the time I'm cool and don't say anything about it. And because they're my parents they seem to know EVERYTHING about me. Every personality trait, my hobbies, etc.But they don't know anything at all. They don't bother. But I'm still labelled as always spazzing and have a horrible attitude towards everything.

They aren't happy with anything I do. If I take a nap that day, somehow I'm always, always, always, sleeping. It doesn't matter that half the time I'm sitting there wishing I could sleep and I can't go see if I have some form of insomnia for this because all my parents will say is that it's my fault and it's not relevant to anything I stated or researched. Because they're always fucking right about everything and I'm wrong about everything unless I'm agreeing with them.

It doesn't matter that in six months I dropped thirty pounds. I'm still to fat for their standards, or my stomach is too big. Apparently having a healthy BMI isn't good enough for them, in order to be "proper" I have to have a BMI that's lower than healthy. My brother has that and he looks like someone with a serious eating disorder.

My grades aren't good enough for them for some reason. I haven't had a single final mark below a 90 and it's still not good enough. You can tell their obviously disappointed that I didn't get higher. And somehow everything traces back to grade eight and when I skipped a lot of school. I got an eighty on a test because of one little mistake? It's because I missed that in grade eight. And what pisses me off the most is that my brother pretty much skipped all of grade nine. And half of grade ten. He needed a tutor to get back into school without failing. I did everything myself, I taught it all to myself and I still manage to get some of the best grades in my school, but it's still not good enough.

I just wish that for once they'd be satisfied with what I do. I'm so sick and tired of being told that I need to do this, or that isn't good enough. And I don't care if you did that when you were a kid in whatever place you grew up in, this is CANADA, things are different here.

[Hannah]

I'm so sorry... It does rather freak me out that several of the people here have similar problems to me. And, of course, we're both left-handed and freakishly short... o.o

*offers ice cream*

I don't know what to say... Obviously all of my advice, if it was any good, would have cured my own predicament.

[Megan (Fishy)]

*hugs*

I'm sorry. Parents suck sometimes, and your parents obviously don't understand you at all. You're wonderful and I'm sure you do a good job at everything they ask you to do. Your grades are great and you're brilliant and they shouldn't be complaining. If your grades were any better you wouldn't have time to breathe.

And please please please don't lose any more weight. You're beautiful.

*just hugshugshugs again*

[Lamp Post]

I'm sorry, love. That sucks , I know. Good luck, and honestly, stop listening to your parents all the time. Especially if they're seemingly always so negative/condescending.

[Secret Confessor]

I feel so hormonal and stupid right now. v.v

My best friend is freaking gorgeous. Not to mention she's mostly fun to be around and generally a nice person.

The guy that I've liked for... I don't know, just way too long, probably likes her. Why? Well, there's various pieces of evidence to support my theory.
1. He has met her.
2. He has seen her.
3. He's never asked me out.
4. They're good friends and hang out a lot.

I mean, we've been good friends for a while and stuff and I think he flirts with me pretty often, but he's never asked me out. I mean, he knows my mom won't let me date, but he also knows that that's never stopped me from having a boyfriend before. The only thing I can think of is that he likes someone else, and my mind immediately went to her. Which actually makes so much sense that I can't figure out why I didn't notice it before.

But what do I say? "Hey, Anna, would you mind not being freaking perfect for a second so I could possibly win over the guy I've been pathetically pining for for about a year?" And she likes being liked, so she never does anything to discourage guys even though I know for a fact that she doesn't like them. And now I'm all mad at her though I shouldn't be because it's not her fault...

Gah, this is stupid. Just shoot me now.

[Devil's Sunrise]

It's official: I fucking hate people. I've decided to stop meeting new ones. I don't need them.

[Lamp Post]

*offers tea*

What happened?

[Secret Confessor]

Just, what the hell?

While not out going, I'm rarely ever self-conscious about anything. Haven't been since early elementary school, because, hell some of those girls were intimidating.

Then, this guy comes along, we're doing fine, gotten together, and even the oddest/simplest things make me self conscious about everything. How long it'll take him to respond to something can be worrying, or word choice, or just, silly observations he makes then pushes. I feel like most of the possibly. . . . insulting ones are joking, but. . . . I worry, some of them aren't, then feel stupid for worrying, and rotate through opinions. And I doubt myself.

One is told, 'oh, it's a phase', 'you'll get used to it', etc, but it's only getting worse.

Just. . . . . I know this could be normal, but it's ridiculous, and I'm not used to feeling so silly and vulnerable to things so small. I feel so emotionally weak. v.v

[Megan (Fishy)]

People say "love makes you crazy." That's an understatement. It makes you fucking psychotic.

And... well, I hate to sound like everyone else, but it is just a phase. While you used to be completely independent, not self-conscious, and uncaring about nearly everything, now that you're with him every little thing worries you and you're being moody and maybe even a tad clingy. Welcome to my life. XD

But, really. It is a phase, and it'll go away. Just hang in there.

[Lamp Post]

XDDD Bit head over heals, Fishy?

[Megan (Fishy)]

@Lamp - Shut up. Just... shut up. XD

@SC - Rereading your post, if you are who I think you are, you have nothing to worry about. If you aren't, you probably still have nothing to worry about, though I'd hesitate to give you a guarantee like that not knowing the situation.
Good luck. And remember that we love you.