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Secret Confessions
[Edited Because I Fracking Can]
Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).
This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".
If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).
Thank you!
email/login:
secretconfession@ymail.com
Password: secret
Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).
This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".
If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).
Thank you!
email/login:
secretconfession@ymail.com
Password: secret
Views: 2446
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Megan (Fishy) on
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Not-so-secret confession:
I'm super-happy, always, right? Well, that's true, I am. It's not a facade or anything, I'm actually like that. But some of you know that I occasionally have the most random mood swings and can be really upset for no reason sometimes.
While all of this plays a part, it's not just me being a teenager, PMS, normal mood swings, whatever. I'm not bipolar either. I actually convince myself that everyone hates me sometimes. Internet friends, RL friends, boyfriend, family, everyone. The people closest to me are conspiring against me for some reason, and everyone else secretly hates me but puts up with me to avoid being rude. I don't know why I tell myself this, but I do. And on the rare occasion that I'm upset, if there isn't a legitimate reason behind it, this is why.
I know it's stupid. And it's even stupider that I can actually make myself believe this sometimes, yet most of the time I don't believe it. But, yeah. *just felt like telling someone this*
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Permalink Reply by Devil's Sunrise on
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There's this one word, I can't remember it, but it literally means: "Hitting yourself with a stick because it feels so good when you stop". I think this relates quite a bit, because I believe I've done it too... You keep going around in a loop of making yourself more and more unhappy, but then when you get happy again it's so much better.
And yes, what you said was natural. It's not part of you being a teenager, PMS, normal mood swings, or whatever, it's just part of you being a person with emotions and relationships with people. And I wouldn't want you to try to deny that being a good thing.
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Permalink Reply by Secret Confessor on
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For the first time ever, I feel really beautiful.
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Permalink Reply by RantingSidekick on
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:D
I'm so happy for you.
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Permalink Reply by MusicInTheWind on
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I want to cry right now. I hate crying though. It makes me feel weak and that I'm just incredibly incapable of handling anything. I think I'm capable but right now, I just don't want to handle anything. I just want everybody to forget about me. I just want to fade away. I want so bad to be peaceful and happy again. It's like everytime I take a step forward, something always manages to bring me 2 steps back.
I want help. I just don't know how anybody could help. I'm enabling everybody, including myself. I'm making it harder for other people to help me. I think it's because I'm confused. I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that I'm in pain and I want so bad to find a release.
People are causing me pain. People that I care about are deciding that they can't help me. I'm losing my friends. It's all my fault, though. I have no one to blame but myself.
Ranting helps but I just feel like everybody I've been ranting to is getting so tired of my constant complaining. I honestly wouldn't blame them if they started abandoning me or just getting annoyed with me. I just don't want to annoy anybody and I'm afraid that everybody will leave. I don't want to be alone. But on the other hand, I do want to be alone. I feel like it would be so much easier to be alone. I wouldn't have to explain anything.
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So, you guys will probably know my identity from earlier posts, or maybe you didn't see/care, but whatever, I'm already logged into SC and I'm lazy so I'll just stay here.
I'm not quite sure when it started, but I have trouble sleeping at night. I also get very depressed in the evenings. I mean, during the day I still hate myself, but I don't feel... Er, let's put it this way; during the day I would think about how much easier it would be if I wasn't alive, during the night I start looking for knives. Well, I thought it might be better if I played games on my phone or read or talked to people until I fell asleep. Yes, it provides a momentary distraction, but eventually everyone I talk to falls asleep and I'm all alone again, and I can't go to sleep and I feel awful. To make matters worse, even though I'm a fucking 15 year old, I get nightmares. >.> Like, really bad ones where I envision myself dying a long painful death after everyone I care about also dies long and painful deaths and I can't do anything to stop it.
So I fucked up my sleeping patterns. Now it's all 'go lie in bed at around ten, put your phone away at midnight, fall asleep at one, and wake up around eight.' Honestly, though, I get about seven-six hours of sleep every night, so I don't know what the problem is. But lately it's just been feeling like... Not enough. I watch my six and four year old nephews from the time I wake up 'til three, and I'm already dragging. I know I don't drink enough, but I'm never thirsty and when my mom tells me that that causes me to be lazy/stupid/tired/fat, and that it's all my fault, it just adds to the depression at night which is partly why I'm afraid to try to go to sleep at night.
Anyway, the cycle has been going on for a while, and things have only been getting worse. I sleepwalk all day and then I'm as conscious as ever at night. 'Tis getting to be a problem. I need help.
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If you were on your phone, I'd break up with you right now.
But you've blown me off again.
Let's just hope I feel the same way tomorrow.
This needs to fucking end. *sniffles*
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It's...done now.
*tries not to cry*
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I don't like tea.
Now, I don't just offer it and praise it because everybody else does, I really like it in theory. I like how it sounds with words like 'offers', 'pot', 'kettle', 'cup', 'lovely'. I like the idea of liking tea. I mean, I like the connotation it has with old people and pretty plates and pastries.
But I don't really like tea. I mean, I only ever drink it when I have a sore throat and even then I add a squirt of lemon juice and a shit load of honey, which kinda defeats the purpose of drinking tea but...
This is weird among a bunch of serious problems and crap, but it's true, and it's been bugging me. And yes, I will continue to offer it to my heart's desire. It's fun, and you guys seem to enjoy it quite a bit.
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