Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!
Angle: A Math Riddle Novel (a fic)
Chapter 1
When Maximum awoke that fine Wednesday morning, she began her day with her normal ritual of looking in the mirror, confirming that she was indeed still concave-down. This was fortunate as she
had had a serious scare some time ago that she might become concave-up. She had
warned Function multiple times that should she ever pass the inflection point,
that he was to induce upon her a non-removable discontinuity.
After applying an eighty degree turn to her doorknob, followed by inducing the door into rotation about its hinge, Max turned down the hall hoping to see that the others were also awake.
The first room she entered contained two of the boys; Integral and g(x). “Time for a positive slope!” Max shouted, “Up you get!”
“I’d rather no slope at all,” Gazzy commented, “I’m in no mood to rise.”
“Come on, I’m sure you can derive the strength from somewhere!” Max argued.
“If I derived any more, I’d be nothing!” Integral complained.
“Then how did you figure I got up?”
“Not by Deriving,” Integral retorted, “Besides, we all know that Function likes his graphs to have lots of curves to them.”
Max gave an annoyed gasp of disgust at this, and moved to another room, hoping to get better results. This room contained the two girls. She tried the eldest first. “No-slope, get up!”
“I’m already vertical,” No-slope whined.
“Really? What’s your rate of ascent then?”
No-slope promptly vanished.
Max turned to the younger girl. “Angle, are you up honey?”
“You pointed out yesterday that I was acute, right?” Angle pointed out.
“I did.”
“Then I’m up.”
“How do I know that you aren’t a-greater-than 270 degree Angle?”
“It’s possible, considering how you seem to have everyone bending over backwards for you already.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?”
“You could let me lead.”
“That’s my domain.”
“I could always get your fiancé Function to disagree.”
"No."
“Do you always have to be absolute, Max?”
“It wouldn't be as fun if I stayed local.”
“Whatever.”
Seeing that Angle couldn’t be translated to another position, Max decided to go and see Function. “They won’t listen to me,” she whined to Function, “Isn’t there anything you can do to help?”
“Well, I’m already quite distributed.”
“Maybe it’s time you found a way to simplify?”
“I would try, but I don’t think you’d like it. Few people like it when a Function gets messy.”
End of Chapter Question
Why do Vulcans (from Star Trek) avoid dessert?
Answer: Because they risk interacting with pi and becoming irrational.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Xuut on
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-Bol-
This is brilliant.
Just brilliant.
And I don't think I even got half the jokes.
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Permalink Reply by o0_flying high_0o on
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XDD
It's lovely.
And didn't make me want to kill something, which is what I'd normally expect from calculus.
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Permalink Reply by MillieKittan on
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lmao XD
That was awesome.
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