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There are very, very few places on this planet where something can't get you. Be it quakes, floods or fires, or tsunamis, hurricanes.... all that crap that you know rationally is possible but really hope doesn't happen to you. So, I do know how you feel. You don't want to think about it, or acknowledge it's a possibility or probability.
And if it happens, you deal with it. I'm not dealing with it too well. Just having to stay in the flat with nobody there because we weren't supposed to move around the city. It was driving me nuts.
I'm at home now, with my parents, a few hundred kilometres away. I had to get out. My friend Ruth is leaving too, she was due to fly out in a few days but booked herself and her fiancee on a flight today, and fuck the costs, because there were aftershocks every few hours and she wasn't coping either.
It doesn't really make sense, but everytime I heard that rumble, and the house start to creak I was instantly in fight-or-flight mode and ready to run outside if it was just as bad again and the house collapsed. Even here sometimes if the house settles...
I'm really sorry for pretty much emotion-vomiting on you guys, but I kinda need to talk about it.
Go for it. Ranting is the best stress reliever on Earth. Better yet, write it all down, in detail.
I've always wondered, now that you're officially in Emergency Survival Mode, did Patterson get it right with Max?
In a month you ought to check with a Psychologist for PTSD. It's very clear that you're freaked out, and I wish we could do more than listen to you.
I'm getting better now. Goddamnit I love having a dad in the Air Force. The fact that things aren't shaking every half-hour, and that I'm not half-convinced I'm about to die every time it does means I'm pretty much back to even keel.
I've been told that with some traumatic experiences, you get better as you can rationalise it. Having that distance helps. I'm still thinking it over more than I'd like to.
It's ironic. I was at work, in the lab. I was being taught how to make platelet pools. They'd just come out of the centrifuge, which spins the red cells down to the bottom, leaving the platelets in plasma to come out of the top. You've got to be really careful with them. Don't knock them, or move them suddenly, or breathe too loudly. We'd just got the first one on the machine to get the platelets out when the quake happened.
It felt like one of the small aftershocks at first. We'd had four or five of them, the biggest a 4. something. But it kept going, and it got worse. The shaking got more and more violent. I remember dropping to my knees and grabbing the table in front of me. I'd've got under it but the lady who was showing me grabbed me because she couldn't keep upright. I guess I was lucky. If one of the machines had fallen off the table I'd have broken bones at least.
I don't really remember the noise. Some people say it sounded like a freight train. I just remember the rumble. And the sound of things clattering as they fell to the floor. I can't remember anyone screaming, but I do remember Julia, one of the others, asking if we should get out. As soon as it stopped enough all of us in the building ran outside.
There were about 40 or 50 people in the carpark. The converted church behind had the top half of the front wall fall down. Everyone was crying and trying to reach people on cellphones and couldn't because the network was overloaded. One person was badly in shock, and another woman started dry retching in an afterchock. I must've wandered around the carpark for a while, and then a friend of mine in wellington managed to call me. I don't think I've ever been so glad to hear someone's voice.
Then the second one hit, the 5.5. I just dropped to the ground again with everyone else. The slab of concrete I was on was up against another one. The crack between them was getting wider, then smaller and they were just moving against each other. It was nuts.
They say the ground didn't fully stop shaking from that big one for six hours.
As for whether Jimmy got it right about Max - who knows? People were dealing with this differently. My friend said that she was home when it hit, and all she did was curl up on the floor and cry until her partner got home ten minutes later. Ever time a shock hit she'd wince. Whereas the partner wasn't really fazed. Slept through the night, didn't mind the shocks at all. People react differently under stress. So I've got no idea.
I'm certainly gonna have words with someone if I can't sort through this, yep. But i think I'll be alright now that I'm away from it all and have had some sleep.
One of my classmates sent an email to our course co-ordinator asking if we could all have assignment exemptions. CC said 'don't even think about them! You've got more important things to deal with!!!'
I'm actually working on my assignment at the moment - I've got some of my stuff, but almost no resources and my laptop was left in Chch. Along with almost all of my stuff. I've got 2 changes of clothes, my eftpos card and my cellphone and that's pretty much it. It's strange.
My sister is scaring me... First she was super goth-emo, then she was super colorful with lots of makeup, now she's been listening to Never Shout Never and dressing like a hippie for two days.
From what I've heard, though, they're vegetarian communist hippies that sing about love and peace and doves. :D
This is hilariously awesome, and catchy. >.>
Looking up all of this music I want.
I need more music... I have this huge list, and I keep adding to it... I'm never going to get all of this. It would never fit on my iPod anyway. I need that 160GB one. There are only 2GB left empty on mine. XD
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