Secret Confessions

[Doomy]

[Edited Because I Fracking Can]

Welcome to the Secret Confessions thread. Beyond the pure anonymity of the internet, there lies a certain level of understanding behind all the accounts here on FF. The SC account carries burden of allowing the user to give a candid, private confession with (hopefully) understanding feedback. The SC thread is for other posters to give kind and/or helpful advice, words of empathy, or a secret of their own (under the SC name or not).

This account is a group account, and EVERYONE needs to treat it respectfully. By posting under the Secret Confessor, you are pledging to refrain from hate mail, "finger-pointing", insulting and being a jerkface. By posting in the SC thread, you are pledging to keep the comments respectful. This has not yet been a problem, but it's nice to have written down "just in case".

If you would like to use the SC account for ANY reason beside posting in this thread, please PM me- even if it's under the SC name (this is not to exert authority, but to maintain order over a very accessible account).

Thank you!


email/login:
[e-mail]
Password: secret

[EndOfTheEarth]

Then obviously the best course of action would be to see her more often.

[Secret Confessor]

I don't have any control over my situation, but I still hate myself for hurting my friends and family the way I am.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Note: Even if the answer to the last question is "yes," you still need to stop thinking of it as your fault. I see where problems could arise because "if I had just never met her...." or something.

[Secret Confessor]

I shouldn't be complaining all the time. I make something out of nothing - my life really isn't that bad. It's my fault that I've deluded myself into thinking it sucks, and that I want to kill myself.
I don't feel I have a choice.

[Kayte]

Oh, hon, you always have a choice. We love you, I can promise you that. And I'm sure there are other people who love you too... *hugs*

[EndOfTheEarth]

I figured out what happens after you die. Trust me, life's much better. If you feel you don't have a choice now..

[EndOfTheEarth]

Let's think about it from a science perspective:
Death is classified by a complete and total lack of brain activity, so being dead must reflect this lack of everything. In essence, you can't see, hear, taste, touch, or smell, which in itself isn't the oddest part-- you can't think either, which is to say that while all this is going on, you don't even have the ability to acknowledge or register that you're dead. It's essentially a complete lack of everything. Personally, I find the idea of an eternity of absolutely nothing to make those varying pains of life seem much more appealing.
If there are any benifits to religion, a big one is offering an alternative to thinking about all that.

[o0_flying high_0o]

Odd. As a semi-religious person, I don't find the idea of heaven and hell comforting at all. Eternity is a long time to spend in one place. If there's nothing after death, well it doesn't matter. If you can't think then you can hardly grow bored of the nothingness.

[Megan (Fishy)]

Okay, anyone mind if I post something here, although it's under my profile? Because I feel a little silly saying this with the secret confessor since it's so obviously me, and posting this anywhere else feels kinda spam-y. Well, here we go:

So I've realized something over the last.... I don't know how long. But I've been thinking about it for awhile today, so I figured I'd share it with you all, not that it's relevant to you, or important, or anything like that. But, six, seven months ago, I worried about my RL friends finding out about my online life. I figured they'd tease me, and think it was a little weird, and they'd worry a little bit, like that I'd end up like one of those poor girls on Dateline or something. I was just a little worried about the embarrassment that would come with my RL friends finding out, and that they'd encourage me to leave. Nothing I couldn't handle.

Now, I'm worried about my RL friends discovering my online life, but more because... it would explain things to them. It'd help explain why I'm more anti-social than I used to be. Though that isn't the reason, at all, that's how it would seem to them. And then there's the fact that my online friends are far better friends, and I'm closer with them, than my RL friends. That would just be awkward, even though I'd be the only one who knew, I'd be thinking about that when they launched into calling me and my online friends freaks, and saying that this was 'sad' and 'stupid' and that I should stop talking to online people. I have two friends who would care, but wouldn't make me stop talking to any of you. Two. That's it.

So, basically, I'm just looking at how everything in my life has changed, and I'm certainly not happy about it. I have no life. My family situation is just getting worse daily. My grades have slipped drastically. My friends who once seemed like at least semi-decent people, have changed when thrown into a new, bigger school. I can't stand myself, and worry more than I did before, about everything. I'm a lazy ass and I don't really deserve to have the life I once had, but I still miss it dearly. I miss the balance, and how everything was decent.

That's pretty much all I had to say. Just things I've been thinking about. If you actually read that, this is a huge part of what's been on my mind lately, though I didn't exactly go into the details or circumstances. Feel free to comment, but no obligations. These are just my ramblings, and here felt like a good place to put it.

[Lamp Post]

*has noticed the same thing*

Things certainly have changed over the last year.

I used to be scared of them finding out about it. . . . now, I'm more open about it. Why? Because there, isn't at this point, anything they could say/do that'd make me leave you guys. And with so few of my friends left at the Castle. . . well, we're going to stick together, regardless of the fact we can't stand another 1/2 the time.

The balance is nice, and you do deserve it. I wish you the best. . . everything will turn out soon, Fishy

[Megan (Fishy)]

*nods* Yeah, my friends..... well, when not forced to hang out in our tiny group, and being forced into five different schools, they've split up. And the ones at my school, especially the one girl who I can't stand, love making new friends and then ditching them a week later. I'm not a fan of that, personally. And I really suck at making new friends. I just suck at relating to most people my age, in general.... I'm totally comfortable with little kids, and older people, like seniors, college kids, even adults, but I just suck at hanging out with middle schoolers and young high schoolers. Which happens to be my age group.

[Lamp Post]

*nods*
We went to 4 different schools last year, and then you can be accepted to the fancy art school and a few others at tenth, so. . .we're at like 10 different schools now in 4 different districts. X_X

Well, just a few more years, and then you'll be in a better age group, no?