Help a Writer. Reveal the Secrets of High School Prom.

[DZMom]

*puppy dog eyes*

I need some help from anyone who wants to tell me about your high school formal dance for a short story I want to write for publication, if I could find a magazine to purchase it. (It is a very short story. It will have about 1400 words.).

Even though I am planning on having the story take place in the USA, I would like to hear what prom planning is like from other countries.I'll have a foreign student as a supporting character. She will be living in the US with her family due to her father's job.

Open the Doors to the Secret World of High School Proms ... 

Just answer the questions.

1. What grade-levels in high school may attend the spring formal dance (prom)? Is a tenth-grader likely to attend a prom?

2. Does the "student council" (the governing body of elected student leaders) plan the prom and put up the decorations?

3. Is the cost of attendance so expensive that a significant portion of students can't attend.

3. How affordable is it to attend the prom?

4. Do students attend "stag" (without a date) if they don't ask someone to go to the prom? Is is typical for the boy to ask a girl to the prom?

5. For this question, try to answer with a thought to the general population rather than your own quirky yet loveable point of view: is going to the prom a significant event for females? For males?

Now I get down to the key question that is a cliche based on my perceptions from high school in the 1980s. It is also a theme in the grotesque plot I am attempting to mash up.

6. If a shy type of guy promises to go to prom with one girl and later wishes that he could go to the prom with someone else, would it be considered "bad taste" to tell Girl One that he doesn't want to go to prom with her, even is she has done nothing to offend him?

 

If you can think of anything else I should know about the "prom," please let me know.

 

I've been absent for how many months now, and I return only because I want something from you? What a jerk!

[nathan_p]

Oh, it was boring as hell.

 

1. Juniors and seniors, though I think if a senior or something took a sophomore as their date they would be able to attend.

2. Yes, as far as I was aware. 

3. Our tickets, for a high school in a well-to-do suburb, were 75 dollars a head. If you treated it as a serious occasion and took a date (as opposed to my social group, who all carpooled there and had some informal eats beforehand at Noodles & Company), the night might run you a few hundred dollars: pay for dinner, pay for limo, pay for tickets.

Of course, if you were going that all out -- the boy was likely the one paying for all that.

4. Yes. My entire group of friends went stag, except for the couple in our midst (who came with each other). Boys usually ask girls, but it wouldn't be weird as hell for a girl to ask a boy. I was my best friend's "date", for instance, and she asked me. 

5. Yes. For a lot of people it was an important thing. Mostly for girls, I think. Boys I'm not sure of.

6. It depends on the girl and whether or not it was a serious promise -- i.e., had he promised her a date-type night, or was it a "you want to go to prom, we are friends, I will go with you" arrangement? If he had promised a date affair and they weren't friends beforehand, she'd be offended -- "why ask me when you didn't want to take me?"

As far as anything else... I was the only person I remember wearing a tux that didn't have a vest matching their date's dress -- my friend wore yellow and I don't like yellow. The day I got fitted there were a lot of embarrassed-looking dudes there with a girl who was presumably going to be their date, picking vest colors.

There was a school-sponsored afterparty at a bowling alley of all things. More social people probably went to actual parties after leaving the dance.

Oh yes. There is no actual dancing, just grinding. 

There was food, consisting of chocolate-covered fruit and water. Fruit was good.

[DZMom]

Thanks for replying!

Maybe I'm being frugal, but $75 is a whole heck of a lot of money to shell out for a dance! I've forgotten about all the extra fees like the dinner beforehand. Not to mention hundreds of dollars spent on one-time-wear prom dresses.

When I was a sophmore or junior, a senior guy and I were semi-dating. We went on a group date to the prom. His parents took a picture of us in their living room (forget those expensive photos at the front entrance!). A year or so later I took that prom-picture-with-date to a hair stylist and asked her to give me the same haircut (it was a basic mullet with short, spiky hair on top, but I didn't know that, and the picture was the only one I could think of). She asked me if it was my wedding picture! *Awkward!*

After-parties were common in the '80s to prevent drunkenness and shagging in hotel rooms. The year I had a date, the after-party was held at a giant athletic facility. That was rather nice.

I went stag to prom in my senior year, but I went with a friend. She and I had a lot of fun hanging out with all those other poor souls who were stuck with their dates.

I'm doing this story for a writing course that I just can't seem to complete. For this assignment I'm supposed to write a synopsis of the story rather than write the actual story. It has been a real bitch for me to write this way because I don't think in terms of Beginning, Middle, End.

If you have any interest in commenting on my work so far, please do.

 

Working Title of Story: ANGST IN MY PANTS

Readership: both boys and girls

Age level: younger teens

Estimated length: 1400 words

I'm in denial about the length. I hate writing stories that short. But longer stories are hard to sell in many magazines.

Type of story: romance

Three magazines to target:

1. NO
2. FUCKING
3. CLUE

Main theme: It is important to keep commitments you make, even when you really wish you could break them.

I picked that theme based on the personality type I'm trying to write. I break my commitments all the time and suffer from nagging guilt. As a matter of fact, this writing assignment was due about three months ago.

Main conflict: BOY promises to go to prom with GIRL ONE. When BOY finds out that GIRL TWO is interested in him, he is conflicted over his initial choice of prom date.

 

Characters: BOY, a quiet, reserved high school junior who experiences general anxiety; GIRL ONE, an expressive and outgoing foreign high school student from Japan who has lived in the US for almost four years; GIRL TWO, a bold and straight-forward, no-nonsense junior who is an active student leader; other high school students.

 

Setting and time span: Empty classroom used for after-school preparation of prom decorations in the one month before the prom; day of prom in the gymnasium.

 

Introduction of main character and conflict: BOY has promised GIRL ONE that he will take her to the prom; she will be returning to Japan in the summer and won’t have a chance to attend in a future year. GIRL ONE recruited him to help with creating prom decorations because of his skills in design and interest in architecture. The student leading the decorating committee is GIRL TWO, whom he has always admired from afar. GIRL TWO is impressed by his hard work and expert design.

 

Development of action and conflict: The nervousness of being around GIRL TWO and the stress of doing so much work for decorations begins to build up. BOY is taken completely by surprise when GIRL TWO asks him to go to the prom with her. He does not want to miss the opportunity to get to know GIRL TWO but he feels that it would be unfair to GIRL ONE to change his plans. His delimma is a trigger for an anxiety attack. He is able to use methods to control his physical symptoms but he is concerned that his initial panic makes a bad impression on GIRL TWO, who is uncomfortable with his panicky emotions. GIRL ONE senses that there is a problem but BOY won’t talk about it with her. Instead of dealing with either GIRL TWO or GIRL ONE, he focuses on completing the decorations. As the first phase of creating decorations comes to a close, GIRL ONE suggests that everyone relax. BOY explains to GIRL TWO that he has already obligated himself to go with GIRL ONE and that he won’t back out. GIRL TWO thinks that he does the right thing. He still feels attracted to GIRL TWO but tries not to let it interfere with prom plans.

 

Conclusion: On the night of the prom he takes GIRL ONE to the dance. They visit with GIRL TWO and find out that she came to the prom without a date. BOY asks GIRL ONE if she would mind him having a slow dance with GIRL TWO. He finds GIRL ONE dancing with several friends. She thanks him for taking her to the dance and says that he and GIRL TWO would make a cute couple at next year’s prom.

 

I'll tell you a little not-so-secret-anymore secret: I had no idea what kind of story plot to write so I picked one willy-nilly out of the book The Thirty-Six Dramatic Situations by Polti. I ended up with the plot that marriage is forbidden because of the girl's prior betrothal. So this is how I adapted it to a modern story with character personalities that I have absolutely no idea how to write.

I have very little confidence in my plot resolutions. Other stories I've submitted as writing assignments have come back with comments that a supporting character solved the conflict instead of the main character solving it. Story of my life ...

[EndOfTheEarth]

1) Which prom? My school had separate ones for juniors and seniors, and the rules for each was that you could invite anyone four years older/younger than you. Same went for my girlfriend's prom.

2) The student council at my school was allowed some hand in the planning, but budgeting and the final say went to teachers.

3) Proms are expensive, though the number Nathan  gave you is a crazy one, in my opinion. The tickets didn't cost more than $40 for me, but everything else; the suit (or dress in my girl's case), the transportation, that cost a significant amount.

4) Yes, students do go "stag", or they find someone they're friendly with, but not romantically so, and go with them. Either then, once they arrive at the party, they get the title of 'wallflower' until someone asks them to dance or talk.

5) A prom has a much value as you put into it. I imagine that it means more for girls than guys, but I was also raised in a house with a fairly traditionalist father and pseudo-feminist mother, so my view of genders and preference could be colored. Also, if you're going with a date, it means more than if you're going with friends...though it isn't quite the be-all-end-all event that movies make it out to be. My girlfriend and I did a little dancing, ate a bit, and snuggled whilst trying to ignore the shitfaced drunk chaperone pair that kept coming over to our table.

6) Again, I was raised in a formal household, so I'd leap to saying "yes", though it really depends on the level of connection. If the girl thought it would be really special and was making a big deal of it, then the guy jumped ship, then yes, it would be extremely bad taste. If they both knew that they were going only as friends (which doesn't seem to be the case--'shy' after all) then turning the girl down would be a bit of a sting, but nowhere near as strong as if the girl was seriously vested in the event. But now I'm repeating Nathan on that point, so I'll leave the matter at that.

 

To develop Nathan's comment, while it is to be expected that the outer tux will not match the girl's dress, it is fashionable to put in an effort to insert a vest between the suit jacket and the button-down shirt that has a matching color; namely because the vests are more readily available than the tuxes themselves, so not editing that shows a lack of taste. If you seriously can't get a vest or tux in the same color, then you at least do the tie the same color.

It's also proper to ask your girl about the dress color ahead of time, so as not to wind up in the situation described. It seems that this piece has since been forgotten.

 

Also, to counter Nathan's other comment, some schools do have sponsored after parties, and they vary in quality. Mine had laser tag and gambling and raffles and so on (I won a desktop printer, which I only recently replaced), so I didn't feel too compelled to go off on my own with said girl

Finally, the level of dancing is mixed. Mostly the kids just cram onto the dance floor and stand perfectly still, or perform that one postmodern dance that involves jummping up and down simultaneously with one hand up in the air. Grinders tend to be outside of this clump, with the more serious and formal kids (myself and date) walking around on the outsides of the dance floor, stopping to dance if a mundane song comes on.

 

Worth noting--parents annoying you to take your picture with your date prior to the prom, and likely someone at the party to do the same think. Girls may/may not get a corsage, depending on the level of formality.

Due to the number of people packed onto the floor, the room was really hot and stuffy, so the drink stand was frequently mobbed.

 

 

 

Finally, if this is a writing piece, ignore all of the above and go for a craptastic and painfully false romance. That's what sells, believe it or not.

 

[DZMom]

Oh, so both you and Nathan have woken me up to the fact that there are no slow dances at proms.

I've been so distantly removed from the dance scene outside of Chinese foreign scholars & students of my husband's age (49) who all seem to have learned dancing shortly after they were weaned and formal-slash-country-western dancing.

[EndOfTheEarth]

There are maybe two slow dances at proms. The rest is modern pop/rap/techno/party dances.

[Fate]

1. My school had one prom for both juniors and seniors, but their date can be an underclassman. I have a friend who's been to every prom thus far.

2. Student council arranges everything and is constantly bashed on though they usually don't deserve it.

3. For us, a couple's ticket was 75, a single's was 50. Traditionally, seniors went for free, but that changed last year. However, the senior's tickets were still much, much cheaper. I believe it was 20, single's tickets only. (So 40, if you were paying for your date.)

4. I went with a friend. It was not a date. But it was a guy. I asked him, because there was no way that I could manage a single's ticket. We split the cost 50/50. Usually, guys asks girl, but it's not odd to be backwards. (I usually ask guys out. I've embraced the fact that they are oblivious, and I no longer have the patience to wait for them to make a move.) It's also not too uncommon to see a gay/lesbian couple at the dance.

5. It is built up to be bigger than it really is and many students are disappointed afterwards. It's significant for girls, until they've actually experienced it, I'd say. For guys, not so much. It's usually just another chance to get laid.

6. I feel that Nathan and End have covered this one...

 

As for other things, there was dancing at my prom. There was also some slow dancing. Only like, three slow songs, but they were there. It wasn't all grinding.

The water that was out was tap, and it was gross. We ate at IHOP beforehand.

I live in a town near casinos. My prom was not at the school or a community center, but in the casino. (Which was kind of cool. We were in the "Starview Room" and it overlooked the river.)

There was a free photo booth there, to add to the professional pictures. That was fun, but the line was ridiculous.

 

That's about all that I can think of.

[DZMom]

Bashing student council is good for their political careers ... toughens them up and weeds out the weak ones. LOL Okay, I'm joking, but I think we all know that that writer types generally are not also political leader types. I may be totally off on that generalization. As a matter of fact, I do see that I have categorically lumped all such student council members into a group without giving them a fair shake.

[Omega]

A NZ perspective:

 

1) We had both a school ball and a hostels ball. The school ball was mainly for the older (we call 'em senior students, not the same as USA 'seniors') students. 6th (juniors) and 7th formers (seniors) had rights to attend, 5th formers could if invited with a 6th/7th, and IIRC, 4th formers could as well, as could students from other schools if the Principal/Deans granted permission. Hostel ball was for hostel students 3rd-through-7th form, who could bring partners from regular school.

2) student council had a school ball subcommittee who did the organising.

3) The ball was about $40-50 a ticket, though partners could go for $70 together.

other 3) affordable. tickets weren't really expensive, dresses go for not much - I got one for $70 new one year. A friend made her dress in textiles class. If you were going out afterwards (afterparties were severely frowned upon by the school and the local cops) alcohol on top of that. Some people also chose to arrive in limos, so that cost as well, but on the cheap, less than $100.

4) typical for guys to ask girls, but nobody cared if you went stag. I went stag with a whole group of girlfriends in 7th form, we ended up dancing with a group of guys who'd done the same. Lotta fun!

5) It was an excuse to get pissed for a lot of guys, and an excuse to get dolled up, then pissed for a lot of girls. Although not pre-ball, coz we got breathtested. Lots of high-school-short-term relationships were spawned, only to die two weeks later. Including for me. :/

6) It would kinda be, yes. They'd have to show up together, at least, because that's the only way you get in the door. Dancing with another girl wouldn't exactly be frowned upon.

 

[Omega]

Also - last two songs are slow-dance songs, something of a tradition. The rest is grinding.

 

food is usually party-type. Savouries, little teeny sammies with the crusts cut off, chips, etc. 

 

Drinks - punch, juice, fizzy. No alcohol, but it gets in anyway. Get drunk, and your name is mud.

 

 

[DZMom]

May I assume that you are using NZD for the $70 dress? The NZD to USD exchange rate has fluctuated significantly in the past few years, ranging from 1.0 NZD = 0.5 to 0.8 USD.

In my time, ballgowns were still worn to dances, and they cost a significant amount of money, along the order of 150 USD in the '80s.

I know that the dress styles have changed. I'm glad they are generally more affordable.

[Omega]

Yep, NZD.

 

And, yeah, it's varied a whole lot. Makes things a bit interesting, but quite frankly, most of our import/export goes to other countries in the South Pacific area, and so the USD has not much in the way of impact on pricing - things have been relatively static here. Except for food prices, but that's a whole 'nother story.

 

It might be better if I provide some comparisons - a good pair of jeans is about $90, an average T-shirt (not the cheapie, nor the really expensive ones), is about $25.

[o0_flying high_0o]

Okay, a very very different perspective. And I have a feeling it won't be at all useful, but anyway.

 

So, I went to a private, all girls school in Aus. And one that was overly... pedantic about kids and alcohol and things so our formal, what we call proms were all cancelled... 

So firstly in Yr 10 we had Socials. Which were basically about socialising with boys. Our school paired up with our brother school and we had ballroom dancing lessons once a week for... 10 weeks or something after school. Then on the night of we got dressed up and dragged our parents down to the school to show off our dancing skills.

Previously, you'd have a formal in Yr 11 (Junior yr) and Yr 12, separate events. There was no charge for tickets, or rather, included with school fees, but from the students perspectives, free. Obviously for us it was up to the girls to ask their date, possible for them to be of any age, and it was very very common to go without a date. I didn't get to go to a formal as such, but yeah, not a scene for a slow dance. However girls turned up drunk, teachers disapproved, they decided something with more parents and less fun needed to be invented. 

 

What I had for Yr 11 was a 'Cocktail Party' which... sucked. We stood around in a courtyard for 2 hrs in the heat, all dressed up, parents in tow, for no reason. Dates were invited, however most people didn't see the point in dragging them along. However after parties were a given. Unsurprisingly, my school does not sponsor after parties, so their ended up being 3 or 4 throughout the year level. 

Year 12 was nice though. We had a Valedictory Ball at the NGV. Again, lots of people went stag. Parents were expected to attend, though. But, well, it was a Ball. Lots of floor length dresses, though I don't think the guys in attendance actually wore full tuxes with vests, I don't think I've ever seen a guy outside a wedding party (or Deb) wear more than a suit. Well, okay, exaggerating slightly, but not necessary for any high school gig. There was a dance floor, no slow dancing though, and a full dinner service, plus school supplied wine to any partner, parent, or student over 18*. And then all the girls got changed into something more comfortable to go to the after party.

 

In the situation you described, I can't say I feel comfortable with the idea of backing out on a promise like that. But... I also don't understand the way you 'take someone to the prom' when they're going anyway. (Yes, we do travel together, but who wants to organise and pay for transport by themselves? Most people arrive with a larger group irrespective of whether or not they have dates). So if one of the girls will get to be there anyway, then go with the other....? Why should she have to miss out just because of your changing mind/ because you were too shy to ask her first?

 

*Quick side note. Most teen books touch on the issues of alcohol and drugs. If there's a prom, and after party this almost certain to come up. If you're going to include foreign characters make sure you're aware of foreign views. Like any US based quizzes will lump alcohol and drugs together, and yes alcohol is bad for you and all of that, but here there is a world of difference between the two. Drinking age is 18 which means alcohol start appearing, without the need for breaking the law to acquire it, at 16/17. It's not a novelty. It's not rebellious. Some people go overboard, but... because you don't need to seek it, it's not a big deal (though the newspapers will tell you otherwise). Drugs on the other hand are not nearly as widely available, are much more expensive here then most other places in the world, and well, not common. At all. Even weed comes up... very irregularly. 

Not sure what the culture's like in Japan. And she has been in the US for four years, the years this'd most become an issue, but you do learn, or react to, the views of your parents and her parents views would have been shaped by... whatever the culture is in Japan.