What are you doing right now?

[EndOfTheEarth]

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

[nathan_p]

My English class is great, but I can't help but laugh a little at the low, low bar he sets for essays.

Any topic you want, as long as you use at least 3 quotations from the reading it's on to support yourself.

And you don't have to have a formal thesis, just a... "statement of purpose". Which you are supposed to underline as a reminder to yourself of what you're talking about.

He's a lovely guy and the class is fun, but not all the students are up to par, if you catch my drift.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Have you had a graded one handed back yet? I used to have professors who did that. It's not as liberating as you think, and you still need an "In his/her work W, X uses Y to prove Z."

[nathan_p]

Yeah -- ended up with the equivalent of an A/A+ for an essay I didn't remember writing. The fuck.

Oh, also, the page limit is 2 - 3 pages, which I find nice because for me it's an incentive to shut up and be less wordy.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Alternately, here, I typed this up for my younger brother:

The Magic College essay format (what all professors are really looking for when they grade your paper).

 

Intro)

Definition of one of the two elements in your thesis.

Bring first element in contact with the second element.

Thesis.

In a Liberal Arts paper “In (work) (author) (uses//fails to use) (element 1) on (element 2) to show that (something).

In a Science paper “Based on this, when (element 1) (does something to) (element 2), then (something)

 

Part 1)

To understand how this works, one must start by understanding how (element 1) works. It works by (how it works) for instance, in (citation 1) (cited author) points out that “(quote)”. This demonstrates (element 1) by (explain). Another example may be seen in (citation 2) where (author) notes that, “(quote)”. This demonstrates (element 1) by (explain) and is similar to (what you talked about in your first example) in that (explain).

 

Part 2)

But while (element 1) is interesting, it doesn’t entirely address the problem of what happenes when considered alongside (element 2). As (cited author) points out, this is worth looking into because “(quote)”. This means that when (element 1) interacts with (element 2) that (some issue, take as long as you need and use more quotes. Be sure to relate back to the wording, authors, and quotes from part 1).

 

Part 3)

This begs the question of how to reconcile (element 1) and (element 2).

If a Language Arts Paper

One possible solution is brought up by (author) who suggests “(quote)”. This addesses (element 1) and (element 2) by (explain). Another solution is presented by (author) who brings up “(quote)” This also addresses (elements) by (explanation). It is also worth nothing that this is (better//worse) than (the previous example) because (explain). Based off of this information, (the seemingly best solution//a solution they’ve all missed) is (This is the hard part; think for yourself!) which (as was mentioned before//corrects what was missing before) by (Think!)

Repeat this part as many times as needed until you achieve required length.

If a Science Paper

(Your lab work and results analysis go here)

 

Conclusion)

Therefore, if (thesis), (your endpoint), then it also brings up (other ramifications, results). If so, then (how it would be looked into further).

 

DO NOT FORGET YOUR CITATIONS!!!

[Xuut]

I don't think I've told you this enough, but I love you (in that strictly-platonic-you're-awesome-because-this-is-awesome sort of way). This is just too funny/useful/exactly the way I have to write essays/labs for IB.

[Contradiction]

I really need to bitch about this. So here goes.

I'm going to motherfucking kill my econ group. Well, one of the people in it.

So our project is to create a business. Even when you ignore the terrible idea we have collectively decided on (it being too late to pick anything else and one of them being dead set on it), which is a drive-in movie theatre which screens baby boomer movies, one of my group members is being ridiculously difficult and obnoxious.

Not only does she not show up for a good majority of the class periods, when she does, she forgets all of her stuff and complains about being unable to find the information she agreed to find.

Today, I looked up said information, and was able to find it in under 5 minutes.

My econ teacher has given us a pass for two days now on the presentation date, mostly because we're bros.

Anyway I'm about to fucking snap.

[EndOfTheEarth]

This is why when I'm in a group in college, I either take control of the entire project, or I work very closely with the one other competent person and tell everyone else to "edit when we're done".

[Contradiction]

I admit this is my typical strategy.

But I'm feeling especially willing to let my group fall under the bus because they're ridiculous, and my teacher is all but encouraging that.

He told me that I don't have to worry about the grade, and that I really shouldn't try to save it on my own at this point.

On the other hand, it is a presentation and the other groups are allowed to question every aspect of our idea, so I don't want to be completely embarrassed.

[Fake]

@Contra:

1. Ha, it could be worse. I have a healthy body, a supporting upper-middle class family, a brain that is for the most part without bugs or glitches, and a lot better organization than I'm used to. I'll manage. I'm also pleased to say that none of the breakdowns have really had any real side effects to my affect, so I'm acting relatively normal around other people, which has improved my social skills a lot.

TL;DNR, while things are a bit weirder than usual, I'm more prepared to cope with any of the usual suspects.

2. Me too. Iowa? Well, moving from a small city to a town with a population of 1000 students and thirty five hundred locals is a bit weird, but I like it here. I don't like movie theatres and if anything is urgent I can ask my roommate to let me tag along when he goes to one of the nearby cities, so it's pretty simple in that regard. It'll be a pain getting my Xbox and TV here, but I'm visiting my family over thanksgiving I think and it’s not that important in the first place.

3. Wouldn't put it past the guy. Still, it might be a pipe dream. By the way, did he ever buy the film rights back? Rather, was he ever payed for them in the first place? With compound interest and the years it's been taken into account, he might be owed a good twenty pence!

-I've heard of it, and that he wrote a children's novel inspire by Dickens. The man, I mean, not his writing style (I hear that he uses a similar style, too.) A fictionalized Dickens is apparently in the book. I don't know much about either book, although I want to read them.

On that note, have you read anything by Jasper FForde? I’ve only read one of his books, but he seems to be pretty clever. The one I read, "Shades of Grey," seems to have the same sort of feel to it as Gaiman's works. The writing style and logic of his writing remind me greatly of those of Gaiman. (By logic I mean the overall flow--writing style is about word choice and sentence structure and individual examples, but logic is how it all seems to...meld.) I guess I'm mostly thinking of Anansi Boys and a few of his short stories. Though Fforde has a simpler vocabulary, I think, which isn't difficult to achieve given the fact that Gaiman probably has to get drunk whenever he's writing or talking publicly because his vocabulary seems to be so big we wouldn't understand him and his longest descriptions could be easily done in a few words. The tone isn't the same as Gaiman--while the book is depressing, it's more oppressive, foreigner's perspective, real-horror depressing; Gaiman is a lot closer to Lovecraft, in contrast. Since I tend to look back on my recommendations with shock once I reflect on them a while later, I'm hesitant to tell you it's an absolute must-read, but give it a cursory glance at the least. XD

Ah, good luck. Honestly, I don't know enough about you to say anything about your chances of success with even the slightest amount of sincerity ("I'm sure you'll do fine!" "You've always seemed excellent at school and really smart, so stop worrying!" "I will blackmail and threaten your teachers and their family to ensure that you pass with flying colors"), but if you ask for help and communicate with everyone you can, you'll probably do better than most. In any case, just try to not burn out. :/

(Sorry about the weird post. My thought process is a bit jumbled up, and I’ve had to cut this post down a huge amount because so much of it was incoherent, irrelevant rambling. Oh, and a few explanations:

The logic thing is just me trying to put a word to something I’m thinking. The word sounded nice at the time, so I used it.

When I say, “Oppressive, foreigner’s perspective, real-horror,” I mean a couple of things. Oppressive means the depression isn’t some one time event or localized issue--you might be able to try to lessen it’s impact on a couple of people or slowly reverse it’s effects with time, blood, patience, and hard work, but things won’t be normal ever again. Apocalyptic wastelands and similar devastations are a common genre for this. Foreigner’s perspective is when the main character (At least the one we sympathize with, often the narrator) isn’t upset about it because he either doesn’t notice the horrors taking place or doesn’t understand it, but the reader is less carefree about it. Usually a societal thing, thus requiring a foreigner--someone who grew up without the propaganda and philosophy--to fully appreciate why it’s so bad. Dystopias go with this like peanut flavored nutrient gel and assorted-fruit flavored nutrient gel spread on rations of wafer. Real-horror is something fearful that could rationally happen. A masked man with a chainsaw hiding in your house as he telephones you is one type of scary. Having your children kidnapped by slave traders or not knowing how you’re going to pay the hospital bills is another one entirely. It’s growing desperation instead of bewildered terror, but I consider it a horror sub-genre.

And I’m rambling again. Wonderful.)

[Contradiction]

1. Well, good. But obviously just because you're relatively privileged doesn't mean life can't suck a lot (or a little).

2. Hm, interesting. See, I don't think I could survive like that. Good for you, though, if you actually like it.

3. Yeah. Ahaha.

4. Yeah, I'd heard about the Dickens one but I haven't read it.

I did read the other one though. I really liked the premise and the sociological implications of said premise, but I didn't really like where they took the plot, and I didn't care for the ending. I'd be interested in what you thought, if you ever get around to reading it.

5. omfg at first I thought you said "Fifty Shades of Grey" and I nearly died. I have never heard of Jasper Fford, but I'll definitely check his work out as soon as I have free time. Your genre explanation was well-done, by the way.

6. Ah, yeah. Thanks.

[Fake]

1. I'm mostly saying that my problems can be overcome and I have the resources to make that happen. I have more blessings than complaints, don't get me wrong.

4. Hmm. I wonder if he's not good at combining world-building, plot, new characters, and philosophy? I mean, he started without much, and since it's a consistent setting with a lot of returning characters later on it sort of worked itself out. How much experience does he really have? Before now, he'd written one roundworld novel in decades.

5. I'm actually keeping a tally on how many people think that. The copy I have would be a bit weird for that sort of stuff, and their are obviously differences in the title and author (It has a subtitle...) so it's fun when people get confused because they both have a common english idiom for the title. Less fun when people act totally cool with it, because I know that they're just trying to be polite. Heh, yeah, tell me what you think of him so I can form an opinion because I only like what my friends and people I respect approve of.  And thanks.

6. Good luck. :D

[Contradiction]

1. No, no, I understand completely.

4. Yeah, I dunno. I liked the two principal characters and their interaction and evolving relationship, but the sort of "real" part of the plot didn't get going for a while. I also feel like a different central conflict would have made the idea of infinite parallel universes much more valuable and interesting to examine.

5. If I saw the cover I could definitely tell the difference. But generally in public that sounds awkward. Yeah, sure. 

Which does remind me of how many books I actually have read mostly because you mentioned/recommended them at one point, which is rather a lot. It's also interesting how much those recommendations have influenced the type of fiction I read even now.

6. Thaaanks. I'm just waiting to get all of the essays written and then some of the stress will go away until the decision in December.