What are you doing right now?

[EndOfTheEarth]

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

[EndOfTheEarth]

Then maybe just gay/lesbian fiction?

[Contradiction]

Okay so I'm really hesitant about doing this, because it is personal writing, but will some of you (or one of you, anyone?) look over my common app essay and tell me what you think - more specifically, how to improve it?

I don't especially love it, and I need definite help concluding it, and I'm wondering what your impression would be of me/my writing if you were an admissions officer.

Criticize the hell out of it, but please tell me how to improve it. I know it needs work, and my deadline is Thursday.

The prompt, btw, is "evaluate a significant experience and its impact on you."

[Xuut]

I like it but that's because oh hey, you had a REAL TRIP to do a Mock Congress? Lucky duck. We never get trips, it's all either done by myself or via the Debate Club.

I think what the end lacks is why YOU want to do it specifically. You talk about how you find it amusing, how you feel the urgency and important of politics, and not to sound cheesy, but why does it matter to you? Yeah politics are important and it's all urgent, but how does that impact you and why does that make you want to go into the government? What did talking to the interns make you realize? You mention it, but it's never specified. You talk about how you see the Senators who are smiling and stuff, and how it's a good responsibility, but not about what the invokes in YOU. 

Now, I'm no expert on application essays (currently in the process of dying under like 35168541531 of them myself) but I think what you really want is to get aspects of your personality out there in your essay, I can tell that you're a student interested in government, but why? What are you unhappy with? What can you change in the government for the better? What did meeting these people, seeing the government in action, do for you? It seems like you're just describing everything that happened and there's implications of what you want, but nothing straight out. 

[Contradiction]

Edited!

I think I took some of your suggestions, but tell me what you think now.

(Also, how to reword literally the last phrase so it's not so revoltingly tacky.)

[Contradiction]

Please, please help.

I really need feedback, and it's too late to ask teachers.

[Xuut]

Oh shit man I have been busy. Sorry. Hold up reading it now.

[Xuut]

I'm so sorry sill haven't been able to read it properly. I swear I will get to it!

[Contradiction]

I submitted it so you don't have to worry.

[Nighthawk]

How have I not started listening to this kind of thing all the time? I'm loving Pandora's Ghostly Grooves station right now. I think I just need to keep this forever and ever.

[Jessie~the~Singer]

I've been so busy and stressed and just generally blah lately that I completely forgot about this site. Apparently I hit the 'Stop Following' button last time I was here and just didn't realize that the reason my email has been so slow lately is because the updates were gone.

 

Anyway, I've been... sick lately. I don't really know what's wrong. Maybe it's just stress? I thought it was my ferritin again, but all the bloodwork came back fine. So. I dunno. But I'm exhausted lately. I never get enough sleep, I'm cranky and short-fused, I get emotional really easily because I'm always on the verge of a mental breakdown. I'm not hungry and I don't eat. I'm apathetic about all the things I used to love. Hell, yesterday was the first time in weeks that I'd even picked up a guitar, and that ended with me throwing it across the room, feeling sorry for myself because I'll never make it in the music industry. Plus, my friend is cutting again and I have no idea how to help her or save her from her terrible, borderline abusive relationship and she's so depressed and I can't protect her and ugh.

 

I finally finished all my application work for Governor's School and I got everything together for Science Acadamy and Beta Club, which I've been putting off for months. I'm finally getting a little more time to myself, but it seems that the more time I have, the less time I'm actually happy. I like having a project, but these last few months have been so hectic and stressed and time-consuming that I have no idea how to cope with anything.

 

I know this whole post is crazy and frazzled, but that's pretty much my state of mind right now: crazy and frazzled. Hopefully I'll have more time to spend reading, because it seems that I can't put my own world together if I can't immerse myself in the world of someone else.

[Fate]

If a project will help you feel better, I genuinely suggest competing in NaNo with us all. I find writing is a great stress reliever and NaNo is a huge project that keeps me from worrying about other problems. Plus, you get to immerse yourself in a world all your own. Maybe it will help.

[Nighthawk]

*offers tea*

*is very late*

Fate's idea is good, yes.

I find it does help to just find something else to do. Writing, reading, drawing something while blasting your favorite music, or anything that keeps you occupied and is somewhat enjoyable. Maybe start making a thousand paper cranes or writing a journal. Maybe sing a journal? Just thinking of ideas.

Take deep breaths and a little time to indulge yourself with some chocolate or ice cream. Watch one of your favorite movies, or a marathon of them (and don't be ashamed of whatever they are - once in a blue moon, when I'm feeling REALLY bad, I just want to sit down and cry and watch Twilight). Share the advice with your friend; maybe invite her over and then do these.

I hope everything gets better for you soon, and remember that you have an amazing voice and tons of talent.