What are you doing right now?

[EndOfTheEarth]

Besides posting on here and replying to this thread. Original credit for this goes back to Fate and Nathan on MX.

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

So, you're going to give it a Santa hat? Or something that won't possibly offend people?

[Fake]

Ryan, it's called a holiday hat.

I'm working on several-Rudolph, Santa, A kwanzaa one, and a dying, cold, wet, homeless child who has frostbite.

I love winter...

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

Oh my mistake, a holiday hat, Thanks for making me religiously correct.

That last one sounds very nice, remind people while they're wallowing in exchanging gifts, there are people out there freezing and homeless.

[Fake]

I know. :D

Ain't it great?

*evil*

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

Now you should you go and give someone an empty box as a gift and when they complain, remind them some people have less.

[Fake]

I prefer to give them rotten, stinking dog meat food. It puts things in perspective.

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

Okay your gift wins, while there are worse things, you would have to be truly maniacal to box them and offer them as presents.

Like a severed foot, saying that it could be their foot in the box.

[Fake]

How about a tourniquet? *butchered the spelling*

With a note that says, "You'll need it."

And then, in the night... *evil cackle*

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

... I am astounded, you are the true king of evil.

[Fake]

Or perhaps a note that says..."You or your dog/sister/mother/father...please put a check next to one and return to sender."

And either way, I cut off the recipients.

[Ovie! Ovie! Ovie! Oy! Oy! Oy!]

So they can decide what you remove? They'd probably think it's a good gag gift, until they wake up the next day.

[Fake]

They choose what's removed and are forced to choose which member of their family it's removed from. In the end I choose, though-I just like screwing with people's heads and driving screws into people's heads.