Dee: "Megan, before you go over to that New Year's Party, you need to clean the desktop."
Me: "MY DESKTOP IS PERFECTLY ORGANIZED."
Dee: "No, the actual top of the desk in the office.
Me: "Oh...."
Would somebody tell me if they think this is any good to send to an application to a special school for the arts? Pleeeaaase? Should I add more? Should the guy be the main character, or die in the next chapter? Or maybe in this chapter if I extend it? Should it have long chapters or short? I've never tried to write anything like this before and actually get anywhere with it. D:
Permalink Reply by Xuut on January 1, 2010 at 7:25am
It's pretty good.
Don't do too many short chapters. A couple is okay, JP's chapters makes me want to bash my brain. Regards to the main character thing it depends what happens next in the plot.
Okay, thanks. Short chapters bad. And I'm trying to decide on whether to kill him off in the first chapter or make him into the main character... I have so many ideas for this plot that I don't know what to put in and what to leave out or how many characters I need to have. <.>
Right now, though, I just need the first chapter done for my application.
Permalink Reply by Xuut on January 1, 2010 at 7:53am
Well I'm interested in what part the girl plays in the story.
If she's an important character (because she sounds interesting) then maybe she could be the main character. And if he's killed in the first chapter how does that affect the rest of the story? Does it make sense to kill him? If it plays little to no role in the story then I don't think you should kill him off.
If that becomes to reason for the conflict in the story, then yeah, I'd do it.
Yeah, she's definitely one of the main characters. *sly grin*
I think killing him off would probably be a bad idea... :/ I might as well make him the main character. The main thing I'm having trouble with right now though is that you don't know much about him. It's probably a bad idea to have the first chapter end so mysteriously, but I can't do much else with immediate character development without changing the point of view.