Protect the flock! From JP and Hachette!
What are you doing right now?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Devil's Sunrise on
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When you post it, just go "This is the one you could probably see in the picture of the box, but I scanned it anyway for you, if it helps."
Just say "I have to get going, and don't have any time to look in the past few pages. Just uploading this ASAP before leaving"
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Permalink Reply by nathan_p on
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The one in the picture is from...actually, a few years ago -- I retyped the article and printed it for nerdy uses. I have a scan of the article that that is a reproduction of, but...
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Permalink Reply by EndOfTheEarth on
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"Nice, I'll try that as an answer. By the way, other than the box, this paper was the last thing. One of the CDs was corrupted, and another just had a page of gibberish. Anyway, I'm gonna go deal with this box. I'll be back Monday with the stuff that I found, and maybe the contents of the small box." Or, an Elena-fied version of that.
Then, Monday she gets back on and describes the site as containing a list of files, but the offsite sever works like a torrent and has a slow upload speed. She also threw up on Sunday and isn't feeling so well, but she knows that the inside of the box just has random stuff in it; nothing important...or did it? Cue week 2.
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I dunno, it would make more sense to leave it hanging completely, not "I'll try that". Just seems to me like it'll add more suspense.
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She ought to at least say when she expects to be back, we owe them that much, otherwise they might get distracted.
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Troof.
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Some bitch just told me "you obviously haven't ever seen the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
I am now filled with hatred.
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All you gotta do is go "Seen, you bitch? I would ask if you read it, but I doubt you're even literate. Good day."
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I wrote several paragraphs, so too late.
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Good reply, Nathan.
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I present possibly one of the best things ever set to paper.
Here's what it's in reply to:
The text of the Sultan's letter to the Cossacks:
As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the Sun and Moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians—I command you, the Zaporozhian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.
—Turkish Sultan Mehmed IVAnd here's the glory of human achievement:
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
Thou art a turkish imp, the damned devil's brother and friend, and a secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight art thou that cannot slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou a son of a bitch wilt not ever make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
Thou art the Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian villain, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, a fool before our God, a grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. Thou wilt not even be herding Christian pigs. Now we shall conclude, for we don't know the date and don't have a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year in the book, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.
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